Being a deaf Newly Qualified Teacher by Eleanor

So, I've delayed writing this post, for several reasons:

The first being that given my current profession that I do have to be really careful what I say, upsetting people is the last thing I want to do, ever.

The second being that I have actually been so busy and blinded by the pile of paperwork and everything else that incorporates 'being a teacher'. So much so that I can't actually believe it has been a half-term already. I am thankful for the chance to recharge my batteries.

The third being that the first few weeks of term consisted of me moving house.. I am now officially 'grown up!'. What a culture shock that is, who knew washing clothes and ironing them took so long! I actually have conversations about cleaning, hoovering (or vacuuming for the geeks), I even talk about the weather and whether it will be safe to hang clothes out... madness!

 But I have decided, in a bid to keep doing things that I love to do and not become a workaholic, that I will write this post. I do love to write.

 Where to begin. September was mad. It was a bit like jumping in at the deep end, and you just keep kicking your legs hoping you'll get some air to breathe. Then the stress of moving house. I didn't think it would be EASY exactly, but I hoped it wouldn't be too difficult. Luckily the house comes with most the furniture already so it definitely could have been a lot worse. For weeks on end I kept turning the wrong way after work, my brain not really kicking in. And the cooking... don't get me started on that.

My career -

 I teach at a SEN School. I always hesitate to tell people how many children I have in my class because compared to a mainstream it does seem small. But I did do my PGCE in two very big mainstream classes and I know the stress and everything is multiplied by at least 27-30.
 In my eyes Mainstream and SEN teaching are both very different.

Mainstream to me, was difficult. You had to plan every lesson. You had to have at least 4 differentiation for the different abilities. You have one TA. You have marking at the end of the day, you get 30 reports to write, you have to find some way to monitor the progress of 30 children and somehow, somewhere you have to find that time to relate to them because they are little people with big thoughts and ideas.

SEN to me, is challenging. You have to plan every lesson. You have to differentiate for each individual child because they all have such a variation of needs. You have more TAs, but you need them if you want to resemble some sort of lesson. You have marking at the end of the day, you get reports and constant updates to parents to write. You have to monitor their progress so carefully, generating individual targets and keeping on top of them, keeping in touch with all the other professionals linked to that child, you have to be able to justify why that child should be in this school. You have to come up with new ideas to keep them engaged, they may fail, or not work the way you wanted. You have to find that connection and help them to learn the most vital thing anyone could possibly learn; how to communicate.

 I love my job, but it is challenging. There is such a high demand and expectation put on teachers. I think the hardest thing is myself. I put far too much pressure on myself to be 'awesome'.

It is very hard to understand the children which is why I have a communicator in the room. But surprisingly, it is adults that tend to be more difficult to understand. Children adapt, they learn. I have one child in my class who asked what my hearing aids were. I told him they were 'special ears' and I need them to hear. He put his ear right against my ear and started listening. I think he wanted to see what I could hear. I started talking 'hello! Are you alright?' He responded and I wondered if he thought my special ears were talking to him. Whenever I tie my hair up he leans over to rest his ear on mine. Its beautiful.

 As adults we get ourselves into habits, I like to call them 'hearing habits'. You talk, all the time. You talk when you're in the kitchen, you talk when you're not facing the person, you talk on the TV. You listen, all the time. Your ears are always open. My ears aren't. They're only available when I have access to your lips or to subtitles or even sign language. If you talk and I look down to check something or read something, my ears are off, I cannot hear. The funny thing is, I don't get annoyed when I see 'hearing habits' because, you're human, you've lived like this all your life and its second nature. You've never had to adjust or change and perhaps never met a deaf person. I get it, totally.
 That doesn't mean I never get frustrated ever, of course I do, but I have empathy and hopefully that makes me an even better teacher.

 I am my own person and I am desperately independent. I love achieving my own communication but it takes a great deal of concentration. I want to be strong, independent and an amazing teacher. I still believe.

 If the world were flipped around and all the hearing people were deaf, and the deaf people were hearing, what would it be like?