Continuing the NQT Teaching dream: By Eleanor

I'm still here!

Still going.

Sometimes I get to the end of a week and I'm amazed by how quickly it all went. Then I remember that I've got planning to do, assessments to make, reports to write and it all eats into my weekends.
 I don't mind, of course, this what I want to do and I made the choice to be here.

 For me, the power of seeing my children achieve things for the first time, just makes every second worth it. I've seen so many next steps being achieved in these last few weeks and I still smile in amazement at how much the children have improved in just their concentration and engagement skills alone.

 I still have those special ears that only work when the child places their ears right against them, as well as a magic button on my beautifully cornflour stained pocketed trousers, a neat little party trick in an effort to get the child back to their lunch, resulting in a countdown every-time they touch the button on the pocket and a magic 'whoosh' to move their hands back to the plate. It has rather backfired with the magic and fascination of the button being far more exciting than their lunch....but with a cross-circular link of maths, who can complain? Another child started laughing their head off, clearly enjoying constant countdowns, pleading me to countdown from 100 which I then proceeded to do, by which point the lunchtime was over-running but I was left with two very satisfied children with an increasingly noted interest in the effects of numbers and counting down. And yes, we have done it again, and again, and again...but I love it :).

 Communication is such a key element in all aspects of life. I work hard to try and find a way for each of the children to express their needs, their desires, their preferences. If you don't have communication, the world is such a rough place to be.

 When I don't have my hearing aids in, the only way I can articulate how it feels to be in a public place, is like a goldfish bowl. Imagine being a goldfish in a bowl (you can add in some seaweed and a glittery castle if you like) and you're looking out at all these people gathered around you, but you can't hear them. You can see their lips moving but there are no words, there is no sound. I am lucky that I can lipread but it only helps so far. If you start talking about flying penguins and the crazy goose lady who lives down the road, I won't have a clue what you're talking about. So many of the lip-patterns are the same so having an idea of the context is, without doubt, the key to unlocking communication barriers.

 I have also become somewhat of an expert at pretending I understand. The only difficulty is when I am asked a question. Then I'm well and truly screwed. Enter a red-face, nervous laughter and a swift change of topic and we're rolling again. Sometimes if I'm in the car driving, especially in the dark with a passenger talking to me, I try to make sure that I do all the talking, because then there's no chance of me not understanding the passenger (due to the fact its dark and I can't lipread), but if I'm doing all the talking then it doesn't matter, and they don't feel ignored, win, win. I'm pretty sure they get a little fed up but its so much better than the alternative, them thinking I don't like them.

 I find it so hard to connect with people sometimes because I miss so much. I can't talk to people when I'm getting on with things, helping a child, observing the children, keeping an eye out in the playground, washing up, clearing up the paper, toys, clothes, writing reports..  my ears are closed, I can't talk to you, I can't connect with you, I can't hear you. I miss those conversations that everyone else is having, I miss those nuggets of information that gets shared, I miss those thoughts and opinions flying around.

Don't want to close my ears, I don't want to look away... I don't want to miss a thing.