Although I am deaf, I was brought up orally. From the very beginning my dad was insistent that I wouldn’t be given ‘labels’, that I was perfectly able to speak like pretty much everyone we knew.
As I grew up, I didn’t know any different. My world was
surrounded by hearing people and I’d never met any people like me, or Deaf/deaf.
It wasn’t until I became a teenager that I had an eye
opening experience. I went to a summer school with the NDCS for 2 weeks and it
quite literally changed me. I met people who could sign fluently but couldn’t
communicate orally. At first it scared me, I had problems of my own with
communicating so how could I communicate with them? I met other people who were
similar to me, brought up orally and relied heavily on lipreading. These were
the ones that I straight away connected with, the similar toil and troubles of
studying at school and explaining that hearing aids aren’t a cure, just an aid.
I made lots of friends at this summer school and have the fondest memories of
those two weeks. The unforgettable experience of the summer school has set the
bar with my volunteering at NDCS, I want each child to go home feeling how I
felt, and with their heads held high.
After attending summer school I realised I wanted to learn
to sign, I wanted to connect with these people and communicate, find out their
thoughts and hopefully become friends. We all have a voice, just some are
louder than others. With help from my ToD (Teacher of the Deaf) and various
mock classes that some of her other students and parents were invited too, we
were all taught basic sign language. That wasn’t enough for me, I wanted more.
My mum and I then signed up for BSL Level 1 when I was still a teenager.
I really enjoyed BSL
Level 1. Mainly because I was like a sponge at that age and took BSL like a
duck to water. I never needed to practise, it was more my mum that worried
about the assessments etc. and used me to practise on. When it finished I was
determined to carry on but my mum decided not to.
I signed up for Level
2, but when it came down to it, I was still that shy withdrawn girl in the
corner, how could I even pretend that I belonged to the deaf world when all I
knew was ABCs and various basic signs? I retreated and decided not to go to the
classes. This, I know now, was a big mistake and I regret not attending.
However the following year it made me more determined and I signed up for it
again, (it was now called the pre-level 2 qualification). I forced myself to go
to the first class and it was scary because there were only 6-7 of us, all
girls (apart from the tutor, lucky man!) and they all knew each other. It was
extremely intimidating, they had all been on the course that previous year and
the signs were still fresh in their minds. It took a lot of willpower to stay
for that class, many times I wanted to run away. It was still difficult because
at pre-level 2 there are still lots of students talking rather than signing,
especially when you can’t think of the signs for what you really want to say. I
missed out, even in a BSL class!! At times it made me angry and confused, I
couldn’t seem to fit in with the hearing world anymore, not with this knowledge
that there were people like me out there! But I couldn’t find the comfort,
support and knowledge that I needed to fit in.
After a few classes I started to become more confident,
comfortable. I knew more signs than some of the others and once they realised
that I was deaf myself they began helping me out with conversations that I’d
missed. Or at least trying to, with our limited BSL vocabulary! Towards the end
I started enjoying myself and made friends. I’m still in touch with one of them
which is really nice J
The next level was difficult. I live in Kings Lynn area and
there were no classes in the area for Level 2. I now had to travel to Norwich
for the nearest class (about 35-40 miles away) for 18:30, not finishing until
21:00. It was difficult to fit in with my college studies but I was determined
and motivated now, I wanted to be able to communicate with BSL users more than
anything, I was still volunteering for the NDCS and sometimes the WNDA (West
Norfolk Deaf Association) which really spurred me on, I wanted to see this
thing all the way through!
On Level 2, I was extremely lucky to meet one of my now
close friends. When we first met we instantly got on, many people asked if we
already knew each other and were surprised when we said no. She was also deaf,
in a similar position to me and we got on like a house on fire. Of course we
had our little girly giggles in the middle of classes though!
I’m now on pre-level 3 at the moment and I love it. When we
get there our voices are turned off and our hands warmed up. Everyone is so
keen to sign and learn new signs too. In our group conversations quite often
someone will start signing about something and there’s at least one blank face.
You are then bombarded with other signers who understood what was said and keen
to explain, hopefully in a clearer way for you to interpret. Everyone is so
warm and understanding of my needs. Even if there is a funny noise outside
someone will instantly sign to me what’s happened and I no longer feel stupid
for asking. It’s probably one of the only places in the world where I feel right
at home.
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