The one with the update from 2015 - By Eleanor

It's been a while since I've written on here. There are several reasons for that; the main one being that in the midst of being a student again and the seemingly never ending assignment writing, I seem to have forgotten about the importance of standing still. For those of you with imaginations like mine, I don't mean literally standing still, I mean taking the time to pause, absorb and take in the sights (with plenty of cake). Life is full of the little treasures that seem to get lost in the rush to grow up.

At 26 years old, you could say I'm grown up now. I don't know about you but I don't think anyone ever feels grown up. I've always felt my mind ages differently to my body and I'm unwilling to let anyone spoil the magic that is my imagination. What fun it is to feel excited about fresh sheets on the bed and hiding underneath when reading a new book (until it gets rather hot and you start worrying when the oxygen will run out). How delightful it is to walk in the woods with your welly-boots on, exploring new paths whilst the sun goes down to create the most extraordinary colours in the sky (until you realise its too dark and the monsters will come out). The delight of walking on the beach on the windiest day known to man, looking under rocks for crabs (till you start fretting that they'll be as big as your head and try to eat you). How wonderfully releasing it is to notice you've become so excited, you've forgotten to breathe in your sentences and commas are non-existent.

 I've been very busy since I last wrote. Decisions were made and thoughts were changed. I am now studying on a one year course PgDip Deaf Education. It basically means I will be qualified to become a Teacher of the Deaf, which as you'll know, is something I really want to be. It is actually one of the best decisions I've made. I'm enjoying the course very much and its brilliant to be in an environment where people have the same goals and motivation in life. We are all striving to give every deaf child the best chance possible. It's also really nice to feel like a strong link in the group. Education has not always been easy for me and I've always found it hard to relate to other students. Whether this is because of communication barriers - 'what if they ask me something I can't hear them?' 'What if I don't know the answer?' 'What if their accent is really difficult to interpret?' 'What if I pronounce something wrong?' 'What if they just don't get me?' - or perhaps just the way nature is, I don't know.
 Yet, finally, I'm with people who feel the same, who can perhaps envision the life I've had and know that it hasn't always been easy, but its mine and I made it what it is. And other children can do the same too with high expectations, lots of support and amazing parents/family around them. I finally feel that this is my field, I know what I'm talking about and I can see clearly now. I can see that I'm not destined to be different, I'm destined to MAKE a difference.

 I just have to be super careful not to spook the monsters under the bed in the meantime.

Making us a Future by Imogene

Back in early Summer I made a plunge and decided to join up to a course with The Open University. I wanted to get back into Education and get some proper qualifications to be able to support my little family. My husband is the main source of our income, working up to 45 hours a week whilst I stay at home with our young boys.
We've always been fine with this way of living, but now, my boys are growing (Freddie's at school now and Noah is 18 months) so I have a little more time on my hands in general. Although back in June/July I knew I wanted to prepare for the future, because naturally with a young family, your mind drifts onto what you hope will happen and what you'd like to achieve.. because the truth is we DO only get to have one life and whilst yes, I give the majority of my time, love and being to my lads, I want to achieve something for me too.

The Open University simply made sense to me because it's incredibly flexible whilst still offering loads of courses and options. It was perfect us, in our position. It was perfect for me. I could start learning and gaining qualifications whilst still being at home and being very involved in my little ones lives - because that will always be important to me.
So I signed up to do a Art and Languages Access Course because I love writing and reading - they're two of my favourite things to do yet I haven't been in a education setting for quite a few years, I felt it'd be more beneficial for me to scrub up on my skills so that I can go in at a degree level and know that I've set myself on a good platform to get started. I want to do well, but haven't really done work at that level so, I wanted to regain my confidence.

I've just completed my first week and I'm really enjoying it!
As the date crept up and the study materials came through the door, I did feel like 'yikes it's arrived!' because it had and it was scary going back to a place you've not been in a long time; yet it was oddly familiar.

So how am I dealing with it from a Deaf point of view?
Quite well. I was terrified to talk to my tutor because I had no clue as to how they would sound, accent wise. however I was relieved to find out it was a female tutor (I find females easier to understand sound wise - I struggle a little more with the lower ranges so male tend to be harder) but she was absolutely lovely! We ended up chatting on the phone for 30 minutes and despite actually having an ear infection, I could understand her quite well. I made a point of being in a quiet room (my mum came and sat with the boys for a while) so I could really concentrate if needed.
She told me about her being a Language Translator so naturally she spoke at a pace and volume that would appeal to most people (she was Italian too), it felt like a coincidence, yet somehow more like fate that this woman came and was exactly what I need. It was a comfortable conversation and she was very supportive once I told her I was Deaf, mentioning if I needed any help or needed to ask anything she would be there to make sure I understand; which I felt was lovely of her.
Back when I was signing up I did tell the staff that I had hearing issues and that I may need support regarding it (always best to let them know however little you think this could affect your learning) and they provided me with the right support - the only thing I could think was to need subtitles/transcripts for any DVD materials which they did and that's helped no end.

I'm currently in the process of completing my first assignment for the end of the month and doing lots of reading and activities that are in the text books - there's a lot to do but I'm enjoying having that time! I'm enjoying looking to the future because it'll all be worth it one day..

*I've included my Vlog from my own channel here, I haven't sorted it so it has captions but feel free to watch it anyway and subscribe for future ones*

We've Been Featured!

Back in early July we got an email from the lovely Editor of British Deaf News, Anna asking if we'd like to provide an interview for their August Magazine - we of course jumped up and said we would love to!

Anna came across us and found 'Deafness & Friendships' and 'Is Deafness a Disability?' interesting  and wanted to ask us a little more about them and some other burning questions they wanted to know. We of course love to spark conversation and discuss frankly all matters of our lives and Deafness as many posts of ours have displayed.

One thing I think was apparent during the writing of this interview was how different our opinion was on our 'Disability' and it's something we really love to discuss with you guys because we are different, despite being best friends we do see a variety of opinion between us (although it does have
to be known we agree on near enough everything else) and I think this made it a readable article.

I'm so proud of this and everything that we achieve, it was really great fun to write and even more exciting to see it come through the post in print! It felt very surreal seeing our photo on paper with all our words placed together. It holds a marvellous memory for us both and it wouldn't be possible without you guys reading our posts - so many heartfelt thanks!

It's holding pride of place on my new desk - I can't bring myself to pack it away yet!

Norfolk Signing Choir by Eleanor

So, a while ago I talked about how excited I was about setting up my very own Signing Choir with (an extreme amount of) help from my very lovely and generous friend Claire.

 We started back in September 2013 and we have been enjoying it so much! We have a range of songs already such as 'Happy' by Pharell Williams, 'Let it Go' from Frozen, 'Roar' by Katy Perry, 'Dancing Queen' by ABBA, 'Shake it off' by Taylor Swift and a few others.

 We are open to all, young or old, beginner or expert at BSL. If you love music and you want to sign (BSL) then do come along! We meet once a month in Norwich, England.

Would You Follow?

Hi guys!

We've been having a chat of late and we're sharing our idea with you and that is starting up a Youtube or producing video's together - we really enjoy having chats and as we're best friends we meet and talk about so many things. We often chat of our deaf struggles when we meet and we've actually done a vlog a little while ago together and we had so much fun recording our memories.. it was a silly one and we simply just wanted to fun and try something new.

 

So we were wondering if you would be interested in following this line, would you follow us if we had a channel? We'd like to do ones where we talk of our struggles on a particular subject but maybe do some of us on our roadtrips/challenges, maybe answer a few of your questions - we'd love to know your input and if you would want to see more of us in a visual sense as well as posts.

 

We'd love you to let us know of this possible venture.

Leave us a comment wherever and let us know what you feel!

Much Love I&E x

Finishing my NQT Year as a Deaf teacher by Eleanor

It's officially SUMMER!

 What a year it has been. It is so funny looking back at my NQT year at this current moment. I know there has been ups and downs and so much of it based on learning what communication works in order for me to be an effective teacher. It's crazy but I've loved it.
 There have been hard times which have often been amplified by fear of the unknown. Not knowing whether I'm a 'good' teacher or the whirlwind of Ofsted. At the time they were difficult, but they were just 'moments'. It is too easy to get hung up on the negative times when there were far more of the positive times and seeing the children learn and progress.

 Working at a SEN school meant that the children and adults were doubly accepting of having a deaf teacher in the classroom and even the parents have been so understanding. I have been so lucky with my TAs in the classroom since January. Even today when the headteacher was talking one of them repeated everything back so I could lipread her. Working as a team is just as important as the work I do solo (planning etc). The kids... the kids have been fantastic, what a brilliant bunch of children and I really wish them the very best for the future.

 What a year. But it is now time for me to move on and progress further in my career as a Teacher of the Deaf. I'm sure I'll keep updating you as time goes on!

 People ask me why I don't cry at times like these. I do feel sad, of course I do, and I will miss everyone but it is just a moment in time. It will pass.
 Life is like a roller coaster. It's full of ups and downs, and every time you go on it, you experience something new or it might go a different way, but it always ends. You might not be happy that its finished, or you might be hysterically happy that you can finally get off, but it always finishes at some point.

 People ask me why am I changing my life so much, why am I moving away?
  Because if you don't buy the ticket, you can't take the ride!! It is a complete life change, but it will be invaluable experience for me to be where I want to be. I want to be a Teacher of the Deaf and inspire young children with hearing loss to be the best they can be. As a youngster I often felt like the world was against me and it's time for deaf children to change their thinking, to be confident, to be pro-active and take control and be whoever they want to be.

 I'm too small an entity to change the world, to make this a place where equal communication happens everywhere. However I can support amazing individuals to seek their own equal access and knock down all communication barriers in order to do so.

 My advice to anyone who wants to become a teacher. Take each day as it comes. When times seem hard just remember they are simply a 'moment'. It will pass, and you will be stronger for it.


If in doubt, just 'let it go' :) .

What I've seen floating around by Imogene

I've recently been seeing 'Deaf' related articles/pictures pop up in all types of scenarios recently and I really like it. There's definitely that instant thought of 'Ooh, I'm one of them!' and you tune in, and they're actually pretty funny, sweet, cringy or damn right odd. (Even if sometimes they're at our expense)

I wanted to share some of the ones I've seen floating around..

What do you think of them?

Is Deafness a Disability? by Imogene

I recently read a comment on a Facebook Deafness page that I follow. People write on there very often sharing tips or asking questions related to a Deaf matter. I follow it because Els sent me a request once to read an article and I've yet to delete it.. not that I have a reason to.

I often find reading other peoples thoughts and feelings on being Deaf really interesting, it seems so many people find so many different degrees of Deafness and love sharing what it means to them. I love this, regardless of saying that I didn't like admitting I was "Deaf" but despite it, I like to know how people view themselves - I have such respect to all them that are very open and honest about their situation. It takes guts to show what can be a weakness to others (and yourself) and see it in the best possible light, it's wonderful and there's definitely something we can all learn from it.

The other day something stood out to me. It was a young girl just throwing a question out for debate and of course many had a opinion to throw in. I watched for a while seeing how this conversation was going to play out and it was really lovely to read so many genuine answers.
The question being:

I have a question, i'd like to think what you think about this question.
Definition of disabled - a physical or mental condition that limits a person's movements, senses, or activities.
So do you (deaf people) class yourself as disabled? ...
& Why do you think the answer?

No nasty comments please thank you!

by Chloe'Lian Fisher

Pitch Perfect 2 - A Film Review by Imogene

 

Pitch Perfect 2

 

Directed: Elizabeth Banks

Starring: Anna Kendrick, Rebel Wilson, Hailee Steinfield, Brittany Snow, Skylar Astin, Adam DeVine, Ben Platt, Anna Camp, Snoop Dogg, Elizabeth Banks, John Michael Higgins

 

Genre: Comedy, Music

 

Stars 5/5

 

(Spoilers!!)

 

 

I was so excited to see this film after the first one, because the trailer looked so funny and because when you've started with one film, it's polite to follow the series through to the end, right? Well anyway, one weekend, Els and myself was away and on the way home we made a stop to watch it subtitled in Luton - I'm so glad we did!

 

We see the return of all the quirky individuals at Barden University within the Barden Bellas circa. I'm so glad the film started in such a gripping way - before we've barely got into the film I was bopping in my seat ready to have lots of fun, I wasn't disappointed! That first scene was the most hilarious one I've seen for a while and genuine laughter came out, I couldn't believe how surprising and unexpected it was, which was definitely what reaction they were after.

 

A Deaf Identity - by Eleanor

Being deaf irritates, frustrates, annoys and even pleases me. There are many advantages to being deaf, getting a quiet night sleep, not bothered by irritating noises or even loud noises that would make most people jump out of their skin. It even makes awkward situations easier because you can play the 'deaf card' when all else fails. Take for example, drawing some money out at a cash machine but the well positioned homeless person sitting next to it calls out 'got any change please?'. Potentially awkward.. if you heard them.

 As a deaf child growing up, I never had a deaf role model. I remember being amazed when I saw people with hearing aids. I must have felt alone because my parents always made a point of pointing them out to me, making me feel like they were out there, somewhere in the universe, people just like me. ME. The only child at school with hearing aids and constant 'my granddad wears them' jibes from misunderstood and curious peers.

Now as I continue to grow, I see deaf people more and more because I've chosen to immerse myself in their community, I've set up a signing choir, I volunteer for the NDCS and stay in touch with other volunteers.

The deaf community is small because people take on their deaf identity in different ways. This is often influenced by their parents and how they are brought up. However, this isn't always set in stone. As children grow up, like me, they begin to find their own identity and how they want to be defined.

 For some people, hearing aids are just an aid, they feel they can keep up enough in the hearing world by lipreading and therefore having them, doesn't make them any different to a hearing person. This is probably a good example of how I used to feel, growing up. Even though I knew I missed things, I simply didn't know enough of any other options (British Sign Language for example) to consider otherwise. I'm not saying I wasn't happy, quite the opposite, I was extremely happy and blessed with such a supportive family.
 This identity can also be influenced by rejection from the deaf community or a negative experience which can be as simple as trying to communicate with a fluent BSL user and not being able to understand any of the signs. This almost creates a confirmation in their mind that there are no other options and they can continue to survive (or perhaps thrive depending on their situation) in the hearing world.

For other people, deafness is their identity. They may have a strong deaf family or have been involved with the deaf community from a young age. BSL is their primary language. Some may have tried to interact with the hearing world but had negative experiences or perhaps feel that not many make enough effort to learn their language. They feel at home with other deaf people because they don't have to concentrate 10 times harder and they most definitely don't have to justify themselves to anyone.

 Sometimes, an identity is based on one experience. It can be so difficult to change your thought process when you have a negative experience because your head tells you that's it. A bit like being rejected from someone you love, or for a job. That heart wrenching feeling that someone didn't want you, that you're not good enough and no one could possibly want you again. That human need to be loved, to be appreciated. You could go through life having tens of thousands of positive experiences but its always the one negative that you'll remember in the dead of the night.

 For me, I am proud to be deaf. It is a part of my identity. Admittedly I can't stand it when people know me as 'that deaf one' because that's not all there is to me. Equally I get frustrated when people aren't naturally deaf aware. Why don't people speak clearly naturally? Why don't people move their mouths properly? Why would people want mustaches that cover their lips? Why do people talk across a room? Why do they even need to? Is it meaningful? Why do people have to have group conversations? What's wrong with a 1:1 intimate conversation?

 I think I will always have an inner battle with myself, the girl who doesn't like to step up and tell people to be 'deaf aware' and the girl who embraces being deaf, who enjoys turning her voice off and her hands on.

Deafness & Friendships by Imogene

I first want to apologise as I've neglected this blog for my own family one Little and Big and this one has been on the back burner of many ovens I have to juggle.
Life is very much like that busy time when you're cooking tea and there's so much to be done, yet everything happens at once! But I'm making a mid year promise to you readers that I'm going to make more of an effort with this blog. I love this blog and I love what it stands for. I love that I can share things that I maybe wouldn't on my other blog.

I know that may seem like an odd thing to write but I'm not one to feel like I need to broadcast my Deafness and it does pop up over there occasionally but I mostly write about my every day life and the things that are important to me in that time. I write passionately about my little family and to be honest, I don't like to feel that my Deafness holds me back in any regards. (clearly does - hearing aids, hello!)

Eleanor (or El as I know her as - feels odd to call her by her proper name!) asked me the other day if I was ashamed of wearing hearing aids. I replied, ' I don't like them no' and she asked 'why not? Without them you wouldn't be able to hear.' She had a point.
But I honestly don't like wearing them. I don't like how they affect my hairstyle choice. I know it seems such a trivial matter in life but I don't like them on show and I always feel like they are. I feel I want to do plaits and them scruffy top buns - obviously I can, and I do around the house but in public I don't have the confidence to do so.
I don't like meeting new people and them finding out as it changes things so quickly. They look at your face more and over pronounce the words - they treat you like you're deaf. I hate that so much, I don't want to be treated like that, I want them to talk to me like they do other people because I usually am fine and pick it up, there's only odd parts I may miss. I'd rather play dumb and be like 'oh pardon?'.

Honestly, I'd love it if any of you feel this way, mention it in the comments :)

I'm aware that most of this is probably my own insecurities and awkwardness to the whole Deaf persona. I guess I don't like that I depend on my hearing aids, and I don't like glorifying my Deafness. I've never used it to my advantage and I've never been one to show it off. I'm a Deaf person, living in a hearing world. I'm just not.. proud to be Deaf I suppose. There's many downsides to being Deaf that I can't really see why people would be 'Deaf and Proud' and sometimes I have to be brutally honest that the Deaf community can make me feel so awkward and cringy at times. I find at times that I can't see why it's different to any other disability. People live with all types of disabilities, so I don't see why mine's an issue. God, I've probably offended you all, but hear me out. I think it's honestly amazing that people can be so positive about Deafness and are really open, share tips and attend Deaf events. It's fabulous that people can genuinely embrace it. (like El, building a signing choir! It's going places - it's amazing! I probably should give it a go at some point.) The support is amazing in the Deaf community and I find it really lovely.

But somehow, I think I find myself feeling selfish if I think on it too much, especially with a young family. I have to work through being Deaf to make me the best possible Mum and Wife I can be. I guess I ijhjust feel stupid if I mishear things, so I feel I need to keep on top. I don't feel I have time to bother. But, I know without my hearing aids, I'd be useless. Completely crap at everything but I'm glad I'm not. I do depend on my hearing aids whether I like it or not. I will always be Deaf whether I like it or not and I'll live with it as well as I have done up to now. I'm incredibly grateful that hearing aids have been made and brought out.
I'm also pretty damn lucky to have met my best friend through being Deaf as well. There's many plus's to being Deaf as I can take my hearing aids out and sleep in silence (that has got to be the best thing right?!) and I've made some of my best friendships through it.
I guess I've probably just got to get over it and why should I hide it? There's nothing wrong with it. It's all me isn't it? This post probably doesn't make that much sense as I totally contradicted myself in most ways - but I'm sure we've been on that route to self acceptance.
Maybe I have, maybe I haven't.

I'd love you to share your thoughts with me x

My first Easter Break as a deaf Newly Qualified Teacher by Eleanor

Admittedly I've never (sorry to all those religious people out there) understood Easter break and why we have two weeks off. Now, as  teacher I truly understand.  Apart from the important side, Jesus dying and coming back to life (and being astounded that some of my children, after reading the story, told me that 'Jesus carried a cross up a hill'), it's the first real opportunity to recharge the batteries. And I've taken full advantage!

 As an NQT I often feel guilty for ever letting my mind slip to other things, for allowing myself to read a non related fiction book about some girl who's in a coma, gives birth and then strange things start happening to her loved ones and then quite literally the world ends and I wonder why I wasted that day on reading a book only to find they were always doomed. This is the stuff that makes me happy. Getting lost in a story that's completely random. Writing, putting words together, making sense of my own thoughts as I type whatever enters my head at that moment.  

  How is it really going as an NQT? Honestly, I love this job. I see so many teachers walking away because it is hard. The amount of administration, the tough Ofsted inspections, the amount of justification necessary on a daily basis and the lack of time to actually spend with the children. Yeah, it is hard. But this is what we signed up for. Not to sound like a cliche but its all about that moment with the children and seeing that light switch on. They can do and can be anything they want to be, and as a teacher we have such a vital role in that journey. It's a beautiful thing.

 As an NQT I have to go through lots of observations, which I quite like because it gives me a chance to get feedback and criticism. A vital part of being a teacher is being able to take criticism and listen to other people's ideas. This is an especially important factor as an SEN teacher, where everyday is completely different. What works one morning might not work the next. Small measures put into place can take months of routine before results are seen. It's always the little things that please me.  

 Seeing children independently match their labels to the independent task boxes as they come in the morning. 

A child independently recalling that this week we are looking at 'baby animals'. 

A child independently going to their choosing board and selecting the object they will receive after their hard work, when for weeks they'd get frustrated and refuse. 

A child independently holding their spoon to put in their mouth (and dropping it straight onto the floor or your lap afterwards). 

Having a child wave to me in the morning as they walk in with the biggest smile on their face. 

 Seeing a non-verbal child repeating all the signs to a song that you've taught them in front of a mirror and giggling the whole time. 

Having a child reach out to take your hand to do something they're scared of, because they trust you.

Hearing a child get excited and repeating the phoneme that they've seen somewhere in the classroom, looking so proud of themselves.

It isn't easy. As a deaf person it's probably a little bit trickier, but it would be too easy to stop, to let the world pass me by just because its 'hard'.
  I didn't chose to be deaf. I chose to become a teacher.  I often look around my classroom to see the children doing something inspirational and I smile to myself, because I am the lucky one.

"I wish I could wear... by Imogene

Hearing Aids”.

My instant response was “No, you really don’t!”

I mean let’s just take a look at it again “I wish I could wear Hearing Aids”. It seems such a silly comment for my 3 year old son to come out with. How did he even come to think of that? 

I know kids ‘say things’ mainly to get a reaction.. Well it certainly made me stop for a second.

There stood my rather mischievous boy, twirling the plastic on the battery pack (that he rather naughtily stole from my handbag), and looking at me like this was the most natural statement to make.

Of course it isn’t.

No one wants to be Deaf. No one asks to be Deaf, we just are and we somehow just deal with it. We don’t want to draw attention to it.

It’s our life and we put our Hearing Aids in because we need to. It's our habit. 

I sometimes very reluctantly want to put them in as I know as soon as I do; I have to get on with the day. Be an Adult and Mum. (Because sometimes it really makes it easier to pretend you’re still asleep when your little one shouts down your ear with none in!)

I had a memory of when Freddie wore some of my lipstick and he applied it pretty impressively; I remember thinking “Why would you think of doing that, you odd sod!” and once I uploaded the photo to Instagram many people gushed over how cute he looked. One of my friends went “aww, that’s so cute! He wants to be just like Mummy! He’s clearly picked up on your tips of applying!” and it instantly made me feel like I was so narrow minded. That I couldn’t see beyond the fact that, I am who he looks up to. He learns from me. He doesn’t see things as Male or Female; just quite simply, an activity that Mummy does. I want to try too!

It made me feel sad, it made me realise that I obviously hadn’t seen that in him. I didn’t notice that he watched me apply my lipstick and found it intriguing.I didn't notice them little eyes open wide with curiosity.

I noticed that he loves me putting moisturiser on his face – why didn’t the two click?

I felt bad for snapping (not out loud, but in my head) and being so negative towards his little declaration. I took a step back with that memory and tried it a different way.

“Why would you want to wear Hearing Aids, though Freddie?”

“Because then I can have my own batteries to put in them”

Welcome to this lad I call my son.