Hey, so I've started to learn to drive. Simply because we need transport as a family, we need to be more independant (rather than relying on parents/grandparents to give us lifts to places) and well it'd improve on our family life in general.
Being a mum i'm constantly worrying about money and whilst driving is an additional strain to the family finances, it'll be worth it in the end as my Grandad has offered to give us his car so that we don't have to worry about financing that - and looking at the insurance, it seems annually it's not a bad deal either, so that helps tremendously. Also, we'll have that much needed transport!
I've booked up with RED driving school and went for my first 2 hour assessment lesson and is said to probably need around 40 hours - apparently it's the average for most learners with no experience. I managed to speak to my instructor on the phone and I did explain to him that I was deaf, because I always find it's polite to explain it and also means that he understands if I don't hear him, why I didn't. He seemed really understanding of the matter and said to tell him if there's anything I didn't get and that he'll help in the best way he can. I really enjoyed it after feeling sick with nerves, but once I got in the car it seems it went away (I guess the unknown is super scary!) and my instructor seemed really nice! Chatty, has a clear voice (definitely needed!) and explains things in a way that's easy for you to take in. All of them qualities are really good for being deaf, and actually they were the things I worried about most! I got in the car and adjusted A LOT of the settings, as my instructor is a broad rugby player standing at 6ft 4.. so yeah, adjustments needed! He told me about where everything was and what I need to do to move off. I never realised as a passenger how much work is actually involved in driving, how much you need to be aware and what you need to think about - I guess most of this is due to what's happening with your feet. Your feet does most of the leg work (no pun intended!). And you don't as a passenger see what the driver is doing with their feet!
I stalled as soon as I set off and as a beginner you're constantly like "what did I do? I did what you said!" but slowly through the lesson you start to realise what you did that made such a such happen. My problem mostly was letting go of the clutch too early! (The worlds most sensitive thing going, eh?) but my REAL problem was hearing the biting point.. for the life of me I just couldn't get it. My instructor told me to listen and "feel" when it's right to go, but I felt like it was impossible to do. I still need to work on it but, I'd like to think I'll get better and at least feel what I need to, to go. I found it terribly frustrating - it was one of the moments where I genuinely hated being deaf! Why can't I just hear it like everyone else, because it'd make things a lot easier - there again, when was anything easy in life? I just thought to myself that there's no point in thinking and feeling that way, and that I should just improve what I can hear and feel and well, hope that I get better at it. I know it's only my first lesson, I have plenty of time to learn and get it before my test! I have to stick with the positives.
I found the best way to interact with my instructor was to talk through my actions. It gave me the reassurance that I knew what I was doing and if I hadn't done something right he could jump in and correct me - I found it the best way to progress through the lesson, meaning I understood what I was doing and like he told me "driving is a routine".
I shall post regularly about my lessons and hopefully i'll get a hold of that biting point! Feel free to share any of your learning to drive stories and the ways you have found that makes your driving experience easier as a deaf/hearing person. Any tips or suggestions are massively welcome :)
Showing posts with label Noises. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Noises. Show all posts
Thursday, 3 October 2013
Monday, 30 September 2013
Bedtime Fears as a Deaf Mother by Imogene
Hello everyone,
Once again I'll apologise for the lack of posting, been awfully busy with my little family that I haven't managed to get round to sharing a couple of stories that I have been wanting to!
My husband is a Chef at a local hotel and he very often works the worst hours for a family, and whilst it's like that we're lucky he gets 2 days off a week (sometimes only 1 during busy weeks) but, he actually has a job!
One day he comes home and announces he's going to have to stay at work the following night as he can't get into work as it's an early start, so he's going to have to stay in one of the hotel rooms. As he's unable to get a lift in as he's covering for someone who's on holiday, and we have no transport (something we're working on) there was little choice in anything else. When he mentioned it I was fine with the idea, I mean he's had nights alone with our son whilst I've been away with the girls, so really it probably was about time I had a night alone in the bed (plus I could spread out, what more could I really ask for?). I did what I do every night of the week, put my son to bed, do the last few house chores and then relax in front of the soaps for the evening.
It was only when it reached 11pm that I started feeling sad, because I always know he'll be home about now, no matter how many hours he's done in the day. I wanted him to come in the house, talk too loud, (as they have to talk loud in the kitchen over the fans - so he says!) get a drink and then moan about what time he's starting the next day and then we'd go upstairs, check on Freddie and then go to bed, turning the lights off as we go through. But that night, I was alone, going through the routine. The bed was cold (Men have a way of warming the bed for you even if they're in their half and only in the bed 30 seconds before you climb in) and the bedroom seemed too dark. I moved our son's baby monitor to my bedside, in case he woke up it'll wake me more than the usual place of across the room - I never have a problem with the night calls as Freddie rarely wakes and as Chris is such a light sleeper he normally gets up. But tonight it was all me, I take my hearing aids out and it feels weird being in the bed, because everything was odd. Nothing felt right. I felt really nervous to be left in the house on my own overnight.
It seems silly really because we come from a good area and we know one of the neighbours really well, but I felt so unsettled. I know part of it was because Chris wasn't there, but also because I was in complete silence. I was alone, I felt alone in the house, even though Freddie was next door, I was worried and my fears began to ran through my mind. I worried that Freddie would wake up, cry and cry, but I didn't wake up. I worried that if there happens to be a burglar, I would be completely useless as I wouldn't hear them break in. What if they were kidnappers and took Freddie when he was asleep and I never heard them get in the house, nor past our room into ours? What if. That's what kept me up thinking of all the things, that I couldn't hear or do if anything was to happen. I've never realised how vulnerable I am when I have no hearing aids in - anything could literally happen, if I didn't see, feel or hear it, I'm actually no good. I wouldn't be able to be the mother that my son needed in them few minutes, because I couldn't hear him..
So I ended up putting my hearing aids in and laying there all night awake, twitching at every noise. (As weird as it is to have them out, I do enjoy the silence during the night, but having the hearing aids in was strange as I could hear the boiler, the dog bark outside, the few cars that actually go past at 3am, everything.) I actually couldn't sleep - I'm sure I fell asleep eventually but it didn't feel like it. The night seemed to go on forever, I kept looking at the clock. I felt exhausted, but I just couldn't relax. What if.
My son never woke up at all, and we never got burgled, nor had any kidnappers in the house. Everything was a perfectly normal night apart from the lack of my Zzz's and Husband in the house.
One thing that did make me smile was that Chris text me the next morning saying 'Crap nights sleep :( It's not the same without you. X' Seems we both had a rubbish night, so I've told him he's not allowed to work that shift unless he can get a lift in! I guess we get used to the way in which we live!
Once again I'll apologise for the lack of posting, been awfully busy with my little family that I haven't managed to get round to sharing a couple of stories that I have been wanting to!
My husband is a Chef at a local hotel and he very often works the worst hours for a family, and whilst it's like that we're lucky he gets 2 days off a week (sometimes only 1 during busy weeks) but, he actually has a job!
One day he comes home and announces he's going to have to stay at work the following night as he can't get into work as it's an early start, so he's going to have to stay in one of the hotel rooms. As he's unable to get a lift in as he's covering for someone who's on holiday, and we have no transport (something we're working on) there was little choice in anything else. When he mentioned it I was fine with the idea, I mean he's had nights alone with our son whilst I've been away with the girls, so really it probably was about time I had a night alone in the bed (plus I could spread out, what more could I really ask for?). I did what I do every night of the week, put my son to bed, do the last few house chores and then relax in front of the soaps for the evening.
It was only when it reached 11pm that I started feeling sad, because I always know he'll be home about now, no matter how many hours he's done in the day. I wanted him to come in the house, talk too loud, (as they have to talk loud in the kitchen over the fans - so he says!) get a drink and then moan about what time he's starting the next day and then we'd go upstairs, check on Freddie and then go to bed, turning the lights off as we go through. But that night, I was alone, going through the routine. The bed was cold (Men have a way of warming the bed for you even if they're in their half and only in the bed 30 seconds before you climb in) and the bedroom seemed too dark. I moved our son's baby monitor to my bedside, in case he woke up it'll wake me more than the usual place of across the room - I never have a problem with the night calls as Freddie rarely wakes and as Chris is such a light sleeper he normally gets up. But tonight it was all me, I take my hearing aids out and it feels weird being in the bed, because everything was odd. Nothing felt right. I felt really nervous to be left in the house on my own overnight.
It seems silly really because we come from a good area and we know one of the neighbours really well, but I felt so unsettled. I know part of it was because Chris wasn't there, but also because I was in complete silence. I was alone, I felt alone in the house, even though Freddie was next door, I was worried and my fears began to ran through my mind. I worried that Freddie would wake up, cry and cry, but I didn't wake up. I worried that if there happens to be a burglar, I would be completely useless as I wouldn't hear them break in. What if they were kidnappers and took Freddie when he was asleep and I never heard them get in the house, nor past our room into ours? What if. That's what kept me up thinking of all the things, that I couldn't hear or do if anything was to happen. I've never realised how vulnerable I am when I have no hearing aids in - anything could literally happen, if I didn't see, feel or hear it, I'm actually no good. I wouldn't be able to be the mother that my son needed in them few minutes, because I couldn't hear him..
So I ended up putting my hearing aids in and laying there all night awake, twitching at every noise. (As weird as it is to have them out, I do enjoy the silence during the night, but having the hearing aids in was strange as I could hear the boiler, the dog bark outside, the few cars that actually go past at 3am, everything.) I actually couldn't sleep - I'm sure I fell asleep eventually but it didn't feel like it. The night seemed to go on forever, I kept looking at the clock. I felt exhausted, but I just couldn't relax. What if.
My son never woke up at all, and we never got burgled, nor had any kidnappers in the house. Everything was a perfectly normal night apart from the lack of my Zzz's and Husband in the house.
One thing that did make me smile was that Chris text me the next morning saying 'Crap nights sleep :( It's not the same without you. X' Seems we both had a rubbish night, so I've told him he's not allowed to work that shift unless he can get a lift in! I guess we get used to the way in which we live!
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