Playing Mum with No Working Hearing Aids.. by Imogene

Hi there again!

I am a Mum to two beautiful young boys (3 & 13 weeks) and they are the centre of my world. Everyday, I am doing things with them, listening to their cries, chants and giggles. They're honestly the most beautiful sounds I hear and I thoroughly appreciate being able to hear them. But what happens on the one day you can't?

Let me explain.
Wednesday last week, I woke as usual to the vibration of Freddie thumping around the bedroom and his (very) high pitched squeal as my hubby is tickling him. It's a normal morning. I sit up and put my hearing aids in and try and hush my lads as my littlest is fast asleep, and well, it's too early to hear such loud noises.
I get up, get dressed and go fetch some breakfast as Noah is still fast asleep. I do love the hectic mornings in this house. It's constantly filled with Freddie shouting he wants more milk with his cereal, or how hubby will be late home that afternoon, or that Noah will want a bottle at 20 past the hour. It's all so normal and it's the thing I wake up to and adore. I like the sound of babbling voices and things lumping around. It's my family.

I however dislike when my hearing aids run out. The tapping really irritates me, and always seem to start at the most inconvenient time! But like everything you tend to do as a parent you just put it to one side and get round to it when you can. My life is busy as a Mum, I'm constantly on the go of feeding and changing, as well as talking and playing. So on the day when one of your hearing aids decides it's finished it's battery life, you think "yeah, OK, I'll change you once I've finish *insert job here*" and this is exactly what I did.
Until my other one decided to start going off too.
Safe to say I rely on my hearing aids A LOT when I'm at home.

Freddie is very much one of them Toddlers that when they want something, they'll want to drag you or keep hanging around the item they want; for example Freddie keeps opening and shutting the pantry door when he wants something to eat. It's probably partly because he's around me most of the time, so knows that will get my attention. Of course he doesn't always do that, he does often shove his face in mine and go "Can I have a biscuit?" "Mummmmmmmmmmmy, I'm huuungry!" or "What time is it? Is it time for Dinner?!"

So on this day my hearing aids were tapping away, driving me up the wall. I had to stop doing everything and find some batteries.
I have many spots around the house and in bags where my battery packs seem to accumulate. In a basket above the microwave, in my handbag, in Noah's changing bag and beside my bedside. I went to all of my usual spots and there were either packets of all used batteries (why these were still here I've no idea!) or there was nothing to find.

Oh Sh*t!

I was a Mum in a house alone with two young, demanding kids and I was completely deaf.
You could imagine how quiet it felt. It felt really odd seeing and looking after my kids but with absolutely no hearing. I managed the best I could and things were OK, I just had to watch everything 10x more than I ever had before. Every move and action had to be accounted for.
A natural thing as a parent is to keep an eye out and look after your child, but there was something about them hours that made me feel like I was doing a terrible job. I know I wasn't really, but it did make me realise that sometimes I rely on my Aids more than I think.

I contacted my mum by text and she tried ringing me, but texting that I can't hear and well, it was a massive miscommunication but finally got to explain that I don't have any batteries!
 As a family we don't have any transport so I couldn't drive to the Hospital, I didn't have any cash on me to get the bus to the Hospital, or a shop to buy any, Chris was at work until 5, which means the shops would be close by the time he finished his shift (not to mention it was 10am in the morning).. It was basically the most annoying situation ever.

My Nan came to my rescue and brought some in Boots for me and brought them to me (Got to love Grandparents who'll do anything for you!). I was saved and all systems were go..
I will never let myself get in that situation ever again. It was hugely frustrating.
It showed me what I am capable of as a Mum, exactly how much I appreciate having Hearing Aids in my life and that I love the sounds my family make. If I didn't have them, I don't know what I'd do!

Oh dear.. the baby monitors gone!

Hey there everyone!
Long time no posting - I know! It's just I feel I can only really blog here when I have something major to talk about (yeah, not completely what blogging is all about) but there's nothing massively Deaf related going on in my life, which I'm pleased to say actually! But tonight I have come up with something that does have a slight line in that direction.. and probably many parents will be able to relate to this new change I'm experiencing!

Now Freddie is coming up to being 3, we've finally decided to let go of using the baby monitor as the little guy is more than capable of walking and opening doors (he has more than proven this when he was very ill! - which I'm pleased to say he has made a full recovery.. finally!). Non-the-less as a parent this is such a scary thing! It does bring a little worry as to whether I shall hear him if I'm downstairs etc, but I know in my heart he can call and come down un-aided and let me know of any problems.. 2nd night of this and it's successful.. (I still go to grab it once he's in bed to realise he's not using it no more!). It's just showing how independent he is growing and just how much I am able to trust him to come and find me. 
However, in the night my husband does most of the interacting, partly because my hearing aids are out and it's practically impossible to lipread half asleep (I've tried it so many times and have just given up, even my husband gets a 'what?' about 20 times before I get it... my brain, eyes and everything doesn't co-operate when tired!). Also doesn't help that I'm such a deep sleeper, although not so much at the current moment as pregnancy is taking it's toll on my diabetes! (but that's completely going off topic!)
So yeah, he's growing up so quick now.. And I have to admit when the husband said 'Do we really need the baby monitor plugged in anymore? We hardly need or use it really, do we?' I instantly was like 'BUT.. WHAT!?' but like he said we hardly need it and until #2 comes around we really don't need it - It's just like having your safety blanket taken away from you for the mean time! I'll only need it in the evenings and during naptimes with #2, so it's not a massive loss at the moment.. (But it's still scary right?!)

Would love to hear how any of you Deaf parents/friends of Deaf parents coped with or what stories you have heard on this subject! It's always nice to hear about other people's experiences.. means that we don't feel quite isolated in these subjects!

I hope you're all well! :) Ix

Super-bot hearing! by Imogene

Hey there guys! Been a while since I have posted anything. I've been a busy lady, I've recently found out that I'm pregnant with #2 and it's another little boy! Been a very exciting time for me, my family and friends so been enjoying the news together! (Also I'm a Celebrity had taken over my life for the last three weeks that I haven't been able to find time to get onto the laptop and update you all - sorry!)

I wanted to share the latest Deaf related news that I have and that is, that I have got new and improved Hearing Aids! I recently went to Audiology at the Hospital to get new tubes and the woman who fitted them had a moan at me as my Aids were too out of date and my moulds were old. Admittedly I haven't been to Audiology since I was 15 and was told I didn't need to come back unless I had a problem. Neither my moulds or my Hearing Aids have been of any trouble to me. I felt I needed to defend my Aids as they may be old but they have got me this far and I've not done too bad with them! However this one time I was at the Hospital for another appointment so thought I would get tubes redone whilst waiting.
I got a appointment to go back and have a hearing test as the last one was a long time ago (7 years), plus it's always interesting to see how it's all doing. I've never noticed any difference in my hearing at all over the years and it was confirmed in the test - they're exactly the same. I was very pleased, simply because no Deaf person wants to hear their hearing is getting worse! I got some moulds done and was told that I would be sent another appointment to collect them and get some new Aids.
Went back again.. and was told that I need to be updated regardless whether my hearing aids are OK or not, as if they were to break, they wouldn't be able to replace or mend them (personally, I wouldn't have minded until they broke to get some news ones really..) but I took advantage of the offer and admittedly my moulds felt more snug than the old ones, so I did need some really! Then it was time to check out the new Hearing Aids. It was quite a novelty trying out some different and more technology-evolved than my current ones at the time.. I guess I had got so used to having my old hearing aids, that the moulds and Aids were what I needed and used, but at the same time it was naive of me to think that I was the best I can be with hearing aids from 7 years ago! The ones I received last time were the best at the time and was told I was among the first handful to start wearing them all them years ago - but times change!
The new ones unlike the old ones were plugged into the computer and altered according to how I needed them to be. I was also told that were different settings that I could have onto my hearing aids and there were a choice of up to 5! (I orginially thought 'How many do you need!?' But she did go on to explain.) My old ones had only two, background noise and T-Loop, but I decided to keep both of them onto my new ones and include a TV setting, which by the way is by far my favourite one! They tune into the TV and dim down any noises that are in the room, including people talking (haha!) but also makes the voices on the screen clearer and generally more focused which is perfect for me! The only downside to that option is if there is another device such as a laptop playing a video for example, the hearing aids try and mingle the two. Which isn't ideal when you're trying to watch something!
I also have a everyday use option which is what my hearing aid is automatically tuned into as soon as they are switched on. I've found since being home that the everyday use one is really echo-y and its really frustrating when I'm listening to people as their words aren't clearly said, so I'm hoping to get that readjusted. It seemed fine at the appointment but since I got home I've not found it the ideal one. (probably down to the fault of having soundproof rooms!) My noisy background one makes everything quiet apart from the voice or what you're listening out to, but I still find the appointed sound too quiet so I mostly use the TV setting at the moment as it seems to be a mixture of all the three setting together!
I sound like I'm moaning but I'm not really, I love them compared to my old ones, what I do hear is amplified and clearer which is every deaf person dream! I have also been hearing noises that I haven't either A - noticed or B - heard before like keys jangling in my hand or the noises my son ask 'what's that?' and being able to say what it is without feeling a incompetent mother and also I can hear the radio on the volume of 6 in the back of the car.. All in all, I'm feeling like a super-bot with amazing hearing at the moment! It's open my eyes to realise that Hearing Aids are going to be improving just as much as mobile phones and 3D TVs etc - shows how important it is to go regularly to improve the vital things that are needed on a daily basis!

Part 1: Learning to Drive as a Deaf Person by Imogene

Hey, so I've started to learn to drive. Simply because we need transport as a family, we need to be more independant (rather than relying on parents/grandparents to give us lifts to places) and well it'd improve on our family life in general.
Being a mum i'm constantly worrying about money and whilst driving is an additional strain to the family finances, it'll be worth it in the end as my Grandad has offered to give us his car so that we don't have to worry about financing that - and looking at the insurance, it seems annually it's not a bad deal either, so that helps tremendously. Also, we'll have that much needed transport!

I've booked up with RED driving school and went for my first 2 hour assessment lesson and is said to probably need around 40 hours - apparently it's the average for most learners with no experience. I managed to speak to my instructor on the phone and I did explain to him that I was deaf, because I always find it's polite to explain it and also means that he understands if I don't hear him, why I didn't. He seemed really understanding of the matter and said to tell him if there's anything I didn't get and that he'll help in the best way he can. I really enjoyed it after feeling sick with nerves, but once I got in the car it seems it went away (I guess the unknown is super scary!) and my instructor seemed really nice! Chatty, has a clear voice (definitely needed!) and explains things in a way that's easy for you to take in. All of them qualities are really good for being deaf, and actually they were the things I worried about most! I got in the car and adjusted A LOT of the settings, as my instructor is a broad rugby player standing at 6ft 4.. so yeah, adjustments needed! He told me about where everything was and what I need to do to move off. I never realised as a passenger how much work is actually involved in driving, how much you need to be aware and what you need to think about - I guess most of this is due to what's happening with your feet. Your feet does most of the leg work (no pun intended!). And you don't as a passenger see what the driver is doing with their feet!
I stalled as soon as I set off and as a beginner you're constantly like "what did I do? I did what you said!" but slowly through the lesson you start to realise what you did that made such a such happen. My problem mostly was letting go of the clutch too early! (The worlds most sensitive thing going, eh?) but my REAL problem was hearing the biting point.. for the life of me I just couldn't get it. My instructor told me to listen and "feel" when it's right to go, but I felt like it was impossible to do. I still need to work on it but, I'd like to think I'll get better and at least feel what I need to, to go. I found it terribly frustrating - it was one of the moments where I genuinely hated being deaf! Why can't I just hear it like everyone else, because it'd make things a lot easier - there again, when was anything easy in life? I just thought to myself that there's no point in thinking and feeling that way, and that I should just improve what I can hear and feel and well, hope that I get better at it. I know it's only my first lesson, I have plenty of time to learn and get it before my test! I have to stick with the positives.
I found the best way to interact with my instructor was to talk through my actions. It gave me the reassurance that I knew what I was doing and if I hadn't done something right he could jump in and correct me - I found it the best way to progress through the lesson, meaning I understood what I was doing and like he told me "driving is a routine".

I shall post regularly about my lessons and hopefully i'll get a hold of that biting point! Feel free to share any of your learning to drive stories and the ways you have found that makes your driving experience easier as a deaf/hearing person. Any tips or suggestions are massively welcome :)

New beginnings: By Eleanor

 Hey guys,
  We've been so busy the last few months, don't know where the time has gone. Today I've been racking my brains to think of something to post for our loyal readers (and some new visitors we hope!) and not coming up with much.

 You'll be delighted to know that I've written an article for Deaf Unity - check them out here:

 http://deafunity.org/

 They are hoping to become a vital network for deaf people to connect and share their stories. I was lucky enough to get mine published on there and I'll copy and paste it here for you guys to read too:

 My name is Eleanor Craik; I’m 23 and am heading back to university in September to do my PGCE in primary. This time next year I will be a teacher (at least that’s the plan!). My interests include learning BSL, playing LOTRO (Lord of the Rings Online), watching subtitled films and trying to keep fit.
I was born in 1989 and passed the initial hearing tests. When my brother was born, he failed his hearing test and when having to go back for further tests my mum requested they re-test me. My brother passed but I failed. Since then my hearing has dropped twice making it a progressive loss.
I attended mainstream primary school and although it was feared I may have to be held back a year as I hadn’t had as long to learn to talk as most others, I quickly caught up and became one of the more able pupils according to my teachers. I remember being confused in Reception class because I’d seemingly be getting on with work, writing words out phonically and showing it to the teacher. The teacher would then ask the teaching assistant to take me out to make cakes for the school. No-one else ever seemed to do this and although I enjoyed it and I really liked the teaching assistant, I always thought I’d done something wrong, that my work wasn’t good enough. Years on and I still don’t understand why but I realise it must have been difficult for them to know how to deal with me as they’d never experienced a deaf child and it was a steep learning curve for all involved.

High School and beyond

At high school I remember more vividly the problems I had relating to my hearing loss. Although I had a great group of friends (we called ourselves the ‘rejects’, all the people that never seemed to hang out with anyone hung out with us) it never shielded me from problems.
I remember one particular teacher who thought I was unable to speak and often asked my friend to read out anything I’d written. This was rather amusing but frustrating, but worse so for my friend. One day I came in to find them playing some sort of character role playing game but I was told to sit in the corner as I wouldn’t be able to follow it. Yes, I agree that it would have been difficult, there was a lot of to-ing and fro-ing but the teacher never explained the game, or even attempted to allow me to join in.
It was difficult for me to learn German, follow maths or science – the teachers were surprisingly understanding (mostly) but my concentration and focus was not so good. It was hard work, lipreading the teachers all the time and often I relied on my friends. One day, my tutor asked me if I thought I was making it harder on them: it seemed my friends had been telling her that it was difficult. I felt extremely upset, I didn’t think I asked much of them, no more than most friends would. It made me retreat, withdraw and hide. I lost my confidence (although I didn’t have much in the first place).
During high school I had a Teacher of the Deaf who supported me. She came to visit once or twice a week and asked if I had any issues with classes, if my hearing aids were working ok, if I needed extra help with things. She was brilliant at trying to help me with maths and science but with my raging teenage hormones and low self-esteem, I know that at times I made it very difficult to help me.
I went to college straight after high school to do a diploma and stayed there to do my degree. It was a very long 5 years and I still had a fair share of communication breakdowns. I remember one boy on the course; he asked me if I was really deaf. I showed him my hearing aids and he laughed, he said he thought I was just pretending to get out of doing things. He wasn’t particularly nice anyway but it astounded me the thoughts that people could think. As I’ve gotten older I’ve learnt for myself that nobody is born deaf aware, it tends to be people who know someone deaf that are more understanding.
The problem with my education was that I felt I didn’t need help, when I probably could have done with it. I believed that I was able to do everything myself to the point of alienating myself, spending hours after school/college researching things that had been talked about. My teacher of the deaf wasn’t there when I went to college and at times I missed her support. Towards the end of my degree I became more independent, more assertive.

Deaf Awareness

At one of my workplaces just a few days ago I was put in a training room, big room, very echoey, air con blasting away. The learners were all put on round tables scattered about the room in different directions. Within minutes of starting I realised there wasn’t a hope in hell of hearing anything, I couldn’t even localise sounds. I asked the group if everyone could move because I simply couldn’t hear. Everyone moved into a semi-circle shape and although I still struggled I could pick up where sound was coming from and hopefully get there in time to lipread (but obviously, some people still not being interpretable, moustaches and mumblers I’m looking at you).
Deaf awareness doesn’t happen all the time. I’ve been so frustrated this past week at the number of video clips I’ve had to watch for training and none of them having subtitles. One of the sessions talked about dignity and the principles of dignity. One of the principles was about how you would shape the care of a person. They talked about it passionately but yet they didn’t consider the care that I needed, even after the fact I’ve been there for two years now and I highlighted this all in the previous training.
The amount of people I’ve had to explain that it’s not about volume, its interpretation I struggle with. But it’s also meant that I’ve met some amazing people. I’ve had and have the best friends anyone could hope for and all the love and support from my family that I could possibly want. Learning BSL has opened my eyes to the deaf community and shown me what life can be like with equal access. I believe that if I have children I will teach them BSL as well as English, this will enhance my understanding of them and will enlighten their understanding of deaf awareness – something that can only be taught.
For me now, I am heading back to university to study for my PGCE. I’m very scared because for the first time ever I won’t know anyone, the university, the lecturers, etc: but I’m relishing the challenge. I’ve actually requested funds from the DSA to enable me equal access, and although I wasn’t too keen on it to begin with (been recommended a Radio Aid which I absolutely hated using at school), I am definitely more open to it than when I was a teenager. I’ve heard about so much new equipment coming out; from live subtitles, google glasses and new treatments for hearing losses – I believe the world isn’t finished with me yet; the fun has only just begun. I just hope for more subtitled cinema films whilst we’re all waiting!

 (For the linkage: http://deafunity.org/article-interview/eleanor-craik-education-experience/)

 I'd like to dedicate this post in loving memory of my dad. I know he never got to hear me banging on about this blog (he's not a fan of facebook or general internet type things) but I know he would have loved to read this. I miss you so much, always in my heart. RIP dad.