A Deaf Identity - by Eleanor

Being deaf irritates, frustrates, annoys and even pleases me. There are many advantages to being deaf, getting a quiet night sleep, not bothered by irritating noises or even loud noises that would make most people jump out of their skin. It even makes awkward situations easier because you can play the 'deaf card' when all else fails. Take for example, drawing some money out at a cash machine but the well positioned homeless person sitting next to it calls out 'got any change please?'. Potentially awkward.. if you heard them.

 As a deaf child growing up, I never had a deaf role model. I remember being amazed when I saw people with hearing aids. I must have felt alone because my parents always made a point of pointing them out to me, making me feel like they were out there, somewhere in the universe, people just like me. ME. The only child at school with hearing aids and constant 'my granddad wears them' jibes from misunderstood and curious peers.

Now as I continue to grow, I see deaf people more and more because I've chosen to immerse myself in their community, I've set up a signing choir, I volunteer for the NDCS and stay in touch with other volunteers.

The deaf community is small because people take on their deaf identity in different ways. This is often influenced by their parents and how they are brought up. However, this isn't always set in stone. As children grow up, like me, they begin to find their own identity and how they want to be defined.

 For some people, hearing aids are just an aid, they feel they can keep up enough in the hearing world by lipreading and therefore having them, doesn't make them any different to a hearing person. This is probably a good example of how I used to feel, growing up. Even though I knew I missed things, I simply didn't know enough of any other options (British Sign Language for example) to consider otherwise. I'm not saying I wasn't happy, quite the opposite, I was extremely happy and blessed with such a supportive family.
 This identity can also be influenced by rejection from the deaf community or a negative experience which can be as simple as trying to communicate with a fluent BSL user and not being able to understand any of the signs. This almost creates a confirmation in their mind that there are no other options and they can continue to survive (or perhaps thrive depending on their situation) in the hearing world.

For other people, deafness is their identity. They may have a strong deaf family or have been involved with the deaf community from a young age. BSL is their primary language. Some may have tried to interact with the hearing world but had negative experiences or perhaps feel that not many make enough effort to learn their language. They feel at home with other deaf people because they don't have to concentrate 10 times harder and they most definitely don't have to justify themselves to anyone.

 Sometimes, an identity is based on one experience. It can be so difficult to change your thought process when you have a negative experience because your head tells you that's it. A bit like being rejected from someone you love, or for a job. That heart wrenching feeling that someone didn't want you, that you're not good enough and no one could possibly want you again. That human need to be loved, to be appreciated. You could go through life having tens of thousands of positive experiences but its always the one negative that you'll remember in the dead of the night.

 For me, I am proud to be deaf. It is a part of my identity. Admittedly I can't stand it when people know me as 'that deaf one' because that's not all there is to me. Equally I get frustrated when people aren't naturally deaf aware. Why don't people speak clearly naturally? Why don't people move their mouths properly? Why would people want mustaches that cover their lips? Why do people talk across a room? Why do they even need to? Is it meaningful? Why do people have to have group conversations? What's wrong with a 1:1 intimate conversation?

 I think I will always have an inner battle with myself, the girl who doesn't like to step up and tell people to be 'deaf aware' and the girl who embraces being deaf, who enjoys turning her voice off and her hands on.

Boo! by Imogene

Hello!!

Long time no speak... literally!

(sorry for the post title, but couldn't think of one that goes, but it's amusing all the same!)

I firstly want to apologise for the lack of posting for well, months now. I've been really really busy with well, everything; but mostly my little family, which I would like to say has had an addition to, in the last couple of weeks!

So, I've rather had my hands full with my new little guy :) Oh, and not to mention Freddie too!

Ok, so I've got a massive confession to make - I've been cheating on this Blog with another! I've got a personal 'family' blog that I have been heavily involved with in the last few months.. and its slowly become to show that I've neglected this one - I'm very sorry!

I mainly started my other blog because I felt I never had enough to say for this one that was Deaf related as my family are literally, as sad as it sounds, is all I do. I hardly ever have many Deaf stories to share.. Which I think is kinda a good thing.. Shows that my hearing doesn't take over the majority of what happens in my daily life. (That really isn't in any way meant to sound patronising and offensive to any other deaf persons)

However, on this rare occasion, I do have a little something deaf related that I can share with you.

For the last few months I've been off to the Hospital for check ups on my Diabetes (as well as bump). I've been lucky to be able to have quite a few scans too, so it's not all been bad but there was a particular day that wasn't joyful or a planned event.

When I was 36+6 weeks pregnant I woke up and found some bleeding. Naturally this really worried me and I was terribly panicked that it could mean that something was going wrong with #2 (Noah as he is now). I rang my mum and she told me it could be the 'show' as they call it, but to make sure I rang my midwife.

I'm so glad that my midwife that I've had all along answered the phone (I also had her for my monthly check ups with Freddie too!) and she tried calming me and asked me to explain and tell her what had happened and what I found.. I explained it all and she told me to ring the Hospital to get checked out - simply to make sure everything was alright!

The funny thing that she said (it's funny now, not really at the time) was "Imogene, make sure when you go to the Hospital and see them that you tell them that you're Deaf! Because you don't always hear things right and it isn't obvious that you are.. I don't want you saying 'Yes' to something you don't hear"

Thinking back on it, it's such a true statement. I never tell people I'm Deaf. I'm not really sure why.. probably because I'm usually not too bad without telling them, but also because (as stupid as it sounds) I sometimes forget I'm actually Deaf! It sounds so laughable and really, it is but I occasionally do forget.

My mum comes to the appointments with me and very often goes 'Oh, Imz is Deaf, so if she doesn't reply or looks confused it's probably because she didn't hear you' (because I never normally mention it!) and then the same old comments come out 'Oh are you? I never realised' 'Ooh, you don't sound like you're Deaf, your speech is very normal' and 'You don't look Deaf, you're very attentive and reply quick, do you lipread?'

These comments always make me laugh. Writing them down does seem like you should take offense to what they say because it sounds rude. But I'm so open about it, I don't mind people having a say on it - at least it's not said behind my back or in whispers!

Anyhow, everything was fine. There was no explanation for the bleeding, just that it happens sometimes, but there was no sign of any other further bleeding.

I didn't have a fantastic birth, but it happened and little man arrived here at last!

To read or follow my family life feel free to become a follower/share my Blog - do say Hello too! :)

www.littleandbigmoments.blogspot.co.uk

Oh dear.. the baby monitors gone!

Hey there everyone!
Long time no posting - I know! It's just I feel I can only really blog here when I have something major to talk about (yeah, not completely what blogging is all about) but there's nothing massively Deaf related going on in my life, which I'm pleased to say actually! But tonight I have come up with something that does have a slight line in that direction.. and probably many parents will be able to relate to this new change I'm experiencing!

Now Freddie is coming up to being 3, we've finally decided to let go of using the baby monitor as the little guy is more than capable of walking and opening doors (he has more than proven this when he was very ill! - which I'm pleased to say he has made a full recovery.. finally!). Non-the-less as a parent this is such a scary thing! It does bring a little worry as to whether I shall hear him if I'm downstairs etc, but I know in my heart he can call and come down un-aided and let me know of any problems.. 2nd night of this and it's successful.. (I still go to grab it once he's in bed to realise he's not using it no more!). It's just showing how independent he is growing and just how much I am able to trust him to come and find me. 
However, in the night my husband does most of the interacting, partly because my hearing aids are out and it's practically impossible to lipread half asleep (I've tried it so many times and have just given up, even my husband gets a 'what?' about 20 times before I get it... my brain, eyes and everything doesn't co-operate when tired!). Also doesn't help that I'm such a deep sleeper, although not so much at the current moment as pregnancy is taking it's toll on my diabetes! (but that's completely going off topic!)
So yeah, he's growing up so quick now.. And I have to admit when the husband said 'Do we really need the baby monitor plugged in anymore? We hardly need or use it really, do we?' I instantly was like 'BUT.. WHAT!?' but like he said we hardly need it and until #2 comes around we really don't need it - It's just like having your safety blanket taken away from you for the mean time! I'll only need it in the evenings and during naptimes with #2, so it's not a massive loss at the moment.. (But it's still scary right?!)

Would love to hear how any of you Deaf parents/friends of Deaf parents coped with or what stories you have heard on this subject! It's always nice to hear about other people's experiences.. means that we don't feel quite isolated in these subjects!

I hope you're all well! :) Ix

Super-bot hearing! by Imogene

Hey there guys! Been a while since I have posted anything. I've been a busy lady, I've recently found out that I'm pregnant with #2 and it's another little boy! Been a very exciting time for me, my family and friends so been enjoying the news together! (Also I'm a Celebrity had taken over my life for the last three weeks that I haven't been able to find time to get onto the laptop and update you all - sorry!)

I wanted to share the latest Deaf related news that I have and that is, that I have got new and improved Hearing Aids! I recently went to Audiology at the Hospital to get new tubes and the woman who fitted them had a moan at me as my Aids were too out of date and my moulds were old. Admittedly I haven't been to Audiology since I was 15 and was told I didn't need to come back unless I had a problem. Neither my moulds or my Hearing Aids have been of any trouble to me. I felt I needed to defend my Aids as they may be old but they have got me this far and I've not done too bad with them! However this one time I was at the Hospital for another appointment so thought I would get tubes redone whilst waiting.
I got a appointment to go back and have a hearing test as the last one was a long time ago (7 years), plus it's always interesting to see how it's all doing. I've never noticed any difference in my hearing at all over the years and it was confirmed in the test - they're exactly the same. I was very pleased, simply because no Deaf person wants to hear their hearing is getting worse! I got some moulds done and was told that I would be sent another appointment to collect them and get some new Aids.
Went back again.. and was told that I need to be updated regardless whether my hearing aids are OK or not, as if they were to break, they wouldn't be able to replace or mend them (personally, I wouldn't have minded until they broke to get some news ones really..) but I took advantage of the offer and admittedly my moulds felt more snug than the old ones, so I did need some really! Then it was time to check out the new Hearing Aids. It was quite a novelty trying out some different and more technology-evolved than my current ones at the time.. I guess I had got so used to having my old hearing aids, that the moulds and Aids were what I needed and used, but at the same time it was naive of me to think that I was the best I can be with hearing aids from 7 years ago! The ones I received last time were the best at the time and was told I was among the first handful to start wearing them all them years ago - but times change!
The new ones unlike the old ones were plugged into the computer and altered according to how I needed them to be. I was also told that were different settings that I could have onto my hearing aids and there were a choice of up to 5! (I orginially thought 'How many do you need!?' But she did go on to explain.) My old ones had only two, background noise and T-Loop, but I decided to keep both of them onto my new ones and include a TV setting, which by the way is by far my favourite one! They tune into the TV and dim down any noises that are in the room, including people talking (haha!) but also makes the voices on the screen clearer and generally more focused which is perfect for me! The only downside to that option is if there is another device such as a laptop playing a video for example, the hearing aids try and mingle the two. Which isn't ideal when you're trying to watch something!
I also have a everyday use option which is what my hearing aid is automatically tuned into as soon as they are switched on. I've found since being home that the everyday use one is really echo-y and its really frustrating when I'm listening to people as their words aren't clearly said, so I'm hoping to get that readjusted. It seemed fine at the appointment but since I got home I've not found it the ideal one. (probably down to the fault of having soundproof rooms!) My noisy background one makes everything quiet apart from the voice or what you're listening out to, but I still find the appointed sound too quiet so I mostly use the TV setting at the moment as it seems to be a mixture of all the three setting together!
I sound like I'm moaning but I'm not really, I love them compared to my old ones, what I do hear is amplified and clearer which is every deaf person dream! I have also been hearing noises that I haven't either A - noticed or B - heard before like keys jangling in my hand or the noises my son ask 'what's that?' and being able to say what it is without feeling a incompetent mother and also I can hear the radio on the volume of 6 in the back of the car.. All in all, I'm feeling like a super-bot with amazing hearing at the moment! It's open my eyes to realise that Hearing Aids are going to be improving just as much as mobile phones and 3D TVs etc - shows how important it is to go regularly to improve the vital things that are needed on a daily basis!

Part 1: Learning to Drive as a Deaf Person by Imogene

Hey, so I've started to learn to drive. Simply because we need transport as a family, we need to be more independant (rather than relying on parents/grandparents to give us lifts to places) and well it'd improve on our family life in general.
Being a mum i'm constantly worrying about money and whilst driving is an additional strain to the family finances, it'll be worth it in the end as my Grandad has offered to give us his car so that we don't have to worry about financing that - and looking at the insurance, it seems annually it's not a bad deal either, so that helps tremendously. Also, we'll have that much needed transport!

I've booked up with RED driving school and went for my first 2 hour assessment lesson and is said to probably need around 40 hours - apparently it's the average for most learners with no experience. I managed to speak to my instructor on the phone and I did explain to him that I was deaf, because I always find it's polite to explain it and also means that he understands if I don't hear him, why I didn't. He seemed really understanding of the matter and said to tell him if there's anything I didn't get and that he'll help in the best way he can. I really enjoyed it after feeling sick with nerves, but once I got in the car it seems it went away (I guess the unknown is super scary!) and my instructor seemed really nice! Chatty, has a clear voice (definitely needed!) and explains things in a way that's easy for you to take in. All of them qualities are really good for being deaf, and actually they were the things I worried about most! I got in the car and adjusted A LOT of the settings, as my instructor is a broad rugby player standing at 6ft 4.. so yeah, adjustments needed! He told me about where everything was and what I need to do to move off. I never realised as a passenger how much work is actually involved in driving, how much you need to be aware and what you need to think about - I guess most of this is due to what's happening with your feet. Your feet does most of the leg work (no pun intended!). And you don't as a passenger see what the driver is doing with their feet!
I stalled as soon as I set off and as a beginner you're constantly like "what did I do? I did what you said!" but slowly through the lesson you start to realise what you did that made such a such happen. My problem mostly was letting go of the clutch too early! (The worlds most sensitive thing going, eh?) but my REAL problem was hearing the biting point.. for the life of me I just couldn't get it. My instructor told me to listen and "feel" when it's right to go, but I felt like it was impossible to do. I still need to work on it but, I'd like to think I'll get better and at least feel what I need to, to go. I found it terribly frustrating - it was one of the moments where I genuinely hated being deaf! Why can't I just hear it like everyone else, because it'd make things a lot easier - there again, when was anything easy in life? I just thought to myself that there's no point in thinking and feeling that way, and that I should just improve what I can hear and feel and well, hope that I get better at it. I know it's only my first lesson, I have plenty of time to learn and get it before my test! I have to stick with the positives.
I found the best way to interact with my instructor was to talk through my actions. It gave me the reassurance that I knew what I was doing and if I hadn't done something right he could jump in and correct me - I found it the best way to progress through the lesson, meaning I understood what I was doing and like he told me "driving is a routine".

I shall post regularly about my lessons and hopefully i'll get a hold of that biting point! Feel free to share any of your learning to drive stories and the ways you have found that makes your driving experience easier as a deaf/hearing person. Any tips or suggestions are massively welcome :)

It's always the big things that makes the little things difficult. by Imogene.

Hi Everyone!
Sorry for the lack of posting - it's been a while, but I promise I personally have a couple of posts to provide you with this week.

So, I have been getting bugged to get a new phone for ages now, simply because mine is a newer version of a brick phone (it honestly might as well) but I always pride myself with saying "I don't need a new one.. It provides everything I need, to ring people and text" however, I realise I sound like a Granny rather than a 22 year old - I should have a hi-tech phone really.. and I probably do need to stay in touch with the online world more, rather than casually getting the laptop out, if and when I fancy it! So I went browsing for a new mobile. It's so much fun, looking at all the ones you can get - but at the same time not understanding a word of what it's going on about! So, being me, I pick the one I like the look of :-P
A Nokia Lumia! I have always liked the look of these on the adverts, I only want a small contract so I find one suitable - it won't cost no more than my usual pay as you go, so it's worth a try. I order my plan online and get excited to see it arrive.
The next morning I get a phonecall from the phone company and narrowly missed it! (I actually ran down the stairs!) So, I rang back to be answered by a deep voiced man with a heavy accent - I can't actually tell you what one because I found it so difficult to even hear him let alone pick that up too! So as a typical deaf person I say "erm.. sorry?" "pardon?... sorry can you say that again?" "I'm sorry but I can't understand you.." and various other statements which i'm sure we've all used or imagine you would!
Unfortunately my husband had gone to work and wouldn't be back for another 8 hours.. and somehow I doubt that I'd be on the line THAT long, regardless of whether I can understand the man or not. But I genuinely really struggled, especially when he said that he needed me to give an answer to the question! I wasn't aware that I was answering questions!? So I asked him to start again and spell out the answers that I had to pick from the list.. but I had no success because I couldn't even understand the question! He repeated it again and I heard the word catalogue and 2012.. but I simply couldn't answer it.
Therefore because I answered it "wrong" even though I couldn't actually understand it.. he cancelled my application. I was so gutted, especially after when I realised that I could've asked for another person to take the call. It was just so frustrating because I kept thinking "UGH!" simply because on the phone, I'm normally quite good and understand the person very well!
I do find it being an added stress being on the phone to unclear voices - Is it only deaf people that struggle with accents on phones?
So I reapplied for the phone in my husband's name, simply because I felt stupid if I was to reapply in my name again and get rejected again.. and that if they ring again he would have to answer it and answer the questions! Basically it was for my benefit that I didn't get embarrassed again by the same company.
Now I laugh about it because it seems funny that I was like WHAT? but I know it was horrible and I don't want to be in that position again.. I now have my phone and it's all sorted!

Has anyone else had any frustrating experience on the phone? Anyone else have troubles understanding what gets said on the phone? Any tips to share on managing phone calls? All comments welcome!

He's fun, he's chatty and such a little handful! By Imogene.

From other articles I've written on this page you may now be aware that I have a 2yr old son, named Freddie. Being part of a 2yr olds life is interesting, fun and hard work but totally rewarding in every way! Freddie’s always been a talkative baby and that hasn't stopped during his development. His favourite sentence at the moment is “Mummy, what you doing?” and I take great pleasure in telling him exactly what I’m doing and letting him be a part of it – even if I didn't want to, he’s incredibly nosey so he would find out one way or another! But it can also get incredibly annoying after the 1000000th time.

In my last article about my time with my little man I was talking about how he’s increasing becoming more aware towards my deafness. He still is and now when he wakes up he shouts “Mummy!” really loud in my ear and well, it wakes me up. He sits on the bed talking at 100 mph, telling me everything he knows. (Yes, he really is that cute!) Eventually once I've stirred and have woken, I say “Slow down Freddie, I can’t hear you” and he jumps off the bed and gets my hearing aids and hands them to me. However cute it sounds, it does make me realise how aware he is of my deafness.

In our house, he has learnt that if he wants my attention, he is to either to come to my face and say what he wants (normally with pointing to it too!) and/or pull at my trousers/arm. Because I’m terrible if I’m busy and doing something that my hearing just fades out (I don’t know if any other people have this?) and I rarely hear what is being said. My husband is very supportive of this and does tell him to come to me rather than stand in the other room shouting my name! (I think a lot of this will get better with his age, and if we have any other children, he will probably teach them too.) We also have subtitles on the television all the time, even the children’s programmes, simply because it helps me for when I finally get to sit down or get dragged to come and watch a specific programme. So I can help interact about what the characters are doing and ask him questions!

I’m also finding that the older he gets the more he looks at my face whilst teaching him a new word, like the other day I was telling him how to say “Elephant” as he has a toy Elephant, he kept saying “Eleant” and I mouthed it and he kept saying it, but yesterday he said it properly – They always used to say that for a Deaf child you have to tell them the word 100 times before they knew how to say it properly. And I said it about 15 times to Freddie and he was saying it perfectly – so it also makes me think about how much my Mum must’ve interacted with me and spoke to me, saying the long words and getting pronunciation right! Bless her; she’s still helping me now with some things!

It's becoming quite a comedy in our Household most days, as only the other day the phone was ringing (I didn't hear it what with the lounge door shut) but Freddie did, and he kept coming to me and back to the door and because he can't say the words 'the phone is ringing' he was chatting madly and I just couldn't understand what he was saying, then it clicked the phone might be ringing and I pretty much went to run for it, and Fred ran with me going "run, run run!" - safe to say when we picked it up we couldn't stop laughing!

Is anybody else having the same experience at the moment with their little one or ones? Do you have a way of telling your child how to get your attention? I’d love to hear anyone’s experience or what they've heard are great tactics!

"Magic Hands": Cbeebies - by Imogene

Yesterday I was watching some Cbeebies with my son. I watched his favourite programme with him and up pop a sequel video of a new programme that’s coming soon to the channel called “Magic Hands” – I was so fascinated by this trailer as it appeared to be done by Deaf people as their wasn’t much sound and I noticed there was BSL! I thought this was great as I already praise Mr Tumble (another Sign-Language programme) and Freddie has started signing “Hello” and “Spotty Bag” from that so was interested to know more about this new programme! I went onto the internet and typed it in and found the Cbeebies Grown-Up page and I have to say it seems really good!

“Magic Hands is a show featuring poetry for children translated entirely into British Sign Language (BSL).

Featuring poems from Robert Louis Stephenson to Roger Stevens and Michaela Morgan the programmes are fun, five-minute packages that mix sign language, the spoken word, music and animation to bring the poems to life and capture the imaginations of both deaf and hearing children.

The production is breaking new ground; it’s the first time poetry has ever been translated into British Sign Language and the first production with an entirely deaf cast using British Sign Language.

The Magic Hands presenters are all new to children’s television and are all profoundly deaf. On set they worked with professional interpreters along with the series’ artistic director, Jean St Clair, and both deaf and hearing production crew.”

I wonder why there is a new BSL programme. Is it because there are more children that are deaf? Or is it because Mr Tumble’s been so successful that they find more children are learning more from it? I’m just glad there’s more deaf awareness coming in for the younger generation. And of course BSL isn’t just used by Deaf people but by children who have communication problems, who have now found a way to speak!

I tried uploading the trailer video, but I can't find it, but this is the only thing related on Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_VrrjB0GPR0

I am very excited to watch this, and mostly see how my son interacts with it! (I shall report after our verdict!)

*The writing in red is from the Cbeebies Grown-Ups page - No Copyright Intentions.

The Host #2 by Imogene

The Host

Directed: Andrew Niccol

Starring: Saoirse Ronan, Max Irons, Jake Abel, Chandler Canterbury, Rachel Roberts, Diane Krugar

Genre: Action, Adventure, Romance

Stars: 3.8/5

Hi, so if you've read my previous encounter to the film 'The Host' (if you haven't, I'd recommend you do here) you'd know that I went to see it without subtitles and that I misunderstood quite a lot during the film. (So I thought) I went with Eleanor yesterday to see it again with subtitles, and whilst I did wonder if I’d get bored watching it twice over.. I didn't. For me, I was looking forward to finally putting them few missing jigsaw pieces into the puzzle!

I was surprised by how accurate my first review was! There were quite a few sections of the film that I missed out and some vital information which made me go "Oh." But in general, I did get the gist (This makes me a very happy girlie!).

My Subtitled Review

The parts I was confused about & now understand.

• ·         I was confused about what the Hosts (which I find out are called ‘Souls’) were doing there and what their thoughts were about the planet. I understood that they saw us humans as violent and ruining the planet and they were there to clear that up and make Earth a better place to live.
• ·         The Souls have occupied many planets.
• ·         That once the Soul was inside the body of the occupant, that the mind of the human in this case, was still alive and slowly fade as the human gives up hope – but a few live on as they’re determined to survive and come back.
• ·         That Seeker wrestled with her Human Lacey for several years. (I didn’t see this during the first time, as I didn’t hear the little things that Seeker said to herself like “I am in control” and “You think you’re better than me?”) and became more apparent with the moment when she shot another Host and started her own war
•       The ‘Stars’ in the cave were actually called Glow Worms.
• ·         The section in the caves where Uncle Jeb was talking to Wanderer and asked if he could call her ‘Wanda’ to which she agrees. Also how he found the caves and that it was in fact an old volcano.
• ·         After Wanderer found out about the Doctor killing the Souls, that when she went to the hospital she claimed some pods and told the doctor that you can take the Souls out of the body by showing love.
• ·         I understood more about what happened after the ‘months later’ when, Wanda, Ian, Jared and Melanie were driving in the car and then bumped into what they thought were Hosts, but it was a bunch of Humans and a Host that had switched sides to be with the Humans. (This was good and glad made sense!)

I think in all honesty that the reason I probably understood the film quite a lot at the first time is probably is because the story line isn't a massively developed nor ‘deep’, so it makes it a fairly easy film to follow. I mean I’d watch it again – maybe not for a long time as I feel like I’m going insane watching it so close together. (haha!)

I still only gave the film a 3.8 rating simply because I didn’t learn that much that was new, the little details, apart from the brother thing and Seeker didn’t make the whole film a “WOW”. Maybe I just expected so much more from the film after seeing Twilight? I just wish I got that feeling that everything makes so much sense and I didn’t.. I cant say it’s now on my favourite films ever list.

The Host - A Non-Subtitled Review by Imogene

 The Host

Directed: Andrew Niccol

Starring: Saoirse Ronan, Max Irons, Jake Abel, Chandler Canterbury, Rachel Roberts, Diane Krugar

Genre: Action, Adventure, Romance

Stars: 2.5/5

 (Possible Spoilers)

My Non-Subtitled Version

My sister contacted me and said she wanted to go and see ‘The Host’. I did, but this version was going to be non-subtitled, and I was dubious of whether to actually go, but she offered to pay, so it swayed my thoughts. Now I know I vowed pretty much to never go to another non-subtitled film, but I knew in a few weeks time I would be going to see it again with subtitled. So in the end I decided I would do a 2-part movie review, one with and one without, and as an experiment, how much I understood with and without. So here goes..

I tried to read this story soon after the Twilight saga, and I found it incredibly difficult to follow, so soon I left it, even though it was written by the same author as Twilight. I imagined it would just as easy reading, but struggled to get into the plot – It felt like it took forever to get no-where! So it wasn’t until I saw the Trailer for the film that I took an interest in it again and possibly if I went back to the book now I may enjoy it more so.

Visually I found the film really interesting, (especially the eyes!) The film was one of them films where if you didn’t hear the speaking, then you’d miss out on the important stuff like how they explain how the planet now works and what the hosts’ reason for being about, but I missed all of this and I found it frustrating. I think I would’ve coped better if there wasn’t so much background music whilst they explain things. For a Deaf person, this film really wasn’t the best, even at the best times! There were a lot of scenes in the dark and underground which caused lots of shadows that covered people’s faces as they spoke, and there were echo’s as they walked around the cave. So it wasn’t filmed for the Deaf in mind, I have to say!

But even I found in the daylight, the camera didn’t focus on any of the faces for very long. This was really annoying, especially when there was one person standing in front of the other speaking and they were in focus on the person in front, so it wasn’t easy to lipread!

However, I did learn some things, and I did understand the voice of Melanie inside wanderer, which I thought was surprising, but I don’t know if that was due to volume?

I have to say I found the storyline very interesting even though I probably missed a lot of the facts, but it was a film I could get the gist, just by looking at it and by the way they acted and look – And I relied on this loads!

So this is what I thought the plot was about:

There was this girl called Melanie who had a brother called Jamie who were humans hiding away from the hosts with this group. The hosts were about peace and honesty, and no host could lie about what they were doing, or anything, they trusted with everything. One night the group go to this building where the Hosts are trying to find them, to turn them into one of themselves. Melanie left her brother and promised she’d come back, only to get chased by the Hosts and later in the film we find out that the group kill themselves rather than be turned into a Host. (To stop the Hosts extracting their thoughts and memories on finding the other humans!) She jumped out of a storey window, only to survive the fall and they turn her into a Host.
She then wakes up, then walks to the bathroom and you hear Melanie screaming and shouting from Wanderer’s head, and that Wanderer can talk back to her. (This makes things interesting!) They have a very complicated relationship between each other in the beginning, as they clashed to control the body and mind. There is a lot of flashbacks if Melanie’s memories of her and her boyfriend Jared (I think this was his name?) Wanderer was interrogated by another Host for Melanie’s thoughts on where the other humans she was with are. (I later learned in the film that she tricked Wanderer, by showing her not the true version of the places, to save herself and the others) Melanie manages to get Wanderer on side to try and find her brother and do her promise of going back to him. They manage to escape and get a car to go back to the group, she tricked her multiple times to cover the tracks of where she was going. They crashed the car and she had to walk through the desert to get there, she collapses and her ‘Uncle’ finds her and gives her water, but they don’t believe it’s her as she is in a Host body now. (They knew she was a Host as she had a ring of blue in her eyes)

There was a large part of the film where they weren’t sure whether Melanie was still inside Wanderer, but they start to believe to think that she is, and slowly they begin to trust her. Not after several attempts from a few people to try and kill her. This part of the film was a good way to get to know both, Melanie and Wanderer. We learnt that they both have a very caring side, and are both genuine souls – however Melanie was stronger willed! It was strange for them both to be leading this life together, yet separately. They become friends. There becomes a love triangle (Stephenie Meyers likes her love triangles, doesn’t she?!) but this is where I get confused as to who is exactly in the love triangle. As I thought Wanderer falls for her protector, but I’ve read that it’s Jared – So this is something I want to work out when I watch it subtitled!

Wanderer starts understanding the way of the human race and finds sympathy for Melanie’s group. She helps protect them from the Hosts, and makes a bond with them.

Wanderer finds that they have done experiments on extracting the soul of the Host out of the human bodies and she finds some dead – this leads to her being scared for her own life as they promised they wouldn’t hurt her. She makes a decision that Melanie needs to have her life back, so they do the operation on her (she expects to die) only for her to wake up in another body, of another who is dead.

The film was really emotional at times, although when my sister was red faced and crying, I wasn’t – so this definitely makes me realised that I missed out on the sad stuff! So I can’t wait to see it properly with subtitles and be able to understand it fully.

Please don’t take my wording on the plot as I’m probably very wrong in a lot of areas but it’s a deaf girl’s view on the film – and I hope it shows you exactly how difficult it is to miss out on vital parts to the storyline.

I did enjoy watching the film, but there’s only so much enjoyment you can get out of not understanding the film – It probably would’ve been much more successful if I had read the book then I’d know what was happening..

I give this film 2.5/5 stars as I couldn’t follow the storyline very well and also the voices wasn’t clear nor in focus – I understand that normal hearing people wouldn’t have a problem with this, and it appears there wasn’t, but for me it made the viewing not a very good experience. But, it had a decent story line and some decent eye candy, so it had some good points ;)

How I could imagine dealing with the news of having a disabled child - by Imogene

This is a topic myself and Eleanor was talking about the other day. We were chatting about one of the latest storylines in our favourite soap 'Hollyoaks'. The storyline is a couple of months old now, but it's about a young couple who have had a baby boy, and find out at the first hearing screen that he is profoundly Deaf. We both rather liked this storyline, what with being deaf, but also as it tackles and shows how people deal with their child having a disability. Like in most soaps they don't handle it very well. But after the screening, I enjoyed the episode where the mother went to visit, almost immediately after the birth to find a way to make her son 'hear'. It was very emotional as, she is desperate to help him and talks to the doctors about ways to make him a hearing child. There was a discussion on having a cochlear implant, but they found it wouldn't improve him anymore than he is. So they've gone against having the operation and now are living with a child who can't in affect hear anything.

It then lead to a discussion on how we would cope in the same situation and we both had different views with linking similarities.
I always think if I had a Deaf child that I'd be completely fine with it, as I'm deaf myself and have an understanding of what type of life you can lead with deafness; however that's only with hearing aids. But saying that, if my child had a profound level of hearing I would know that my child would almost be in safe hands as I know some teachers of the deaf around my area and I know they give 100% in the learning of each child. I would also know that there is support networks out there to help and there is BSL (British Sign Language) as a way of communication, so as a deaf person - It is possible to lead a normal life.
Obviously as a mother I'd worry about them growing up and hoping people become more deaf aware so that they can get the most out of their life. But as to quote Eleanor it is scary for new parents who don't know about being deaf and the support a child can get - it's terrifying. It's like if you imagine our child being blind - we'd worry!
Which is so true, it's only because we're in the boat, that we'd be easy to accept, but if it was any other disability we'd all worry and panic about the support and the type of life our child would be able to lead.
I personally did have the same worry with my son when he was born, not that he was Deaf, (I knew he was a hearing baby as soon as he came out) but the doctors did have a worry that he could possibly have cerebral palsy, and breathing problems as he didn't react to some of the tests they do to make sure they're healthy and everything is working as it should. At that moment when they said that I burst into tears, simply out of being scared. I didn't really know what it meant, nor what it was really - not enough to be clued up. But my gut instinct wasn't as if he did have any disabilities, some might say it could've been a natural denial state or mother intuition. It turns out he has neither of them things and is perfectly healthy!
But for that couple of days, I now understand when I read/see how people cope with a new baby being disabled. I suppose it's mostly because we all crave for a happy, healthy baby, simply as it's a easier life for them and probably deep down for us too.

So, How would I cope with the news of having a disabled child? I don't really know, I think I'd have to be in the position to be able to tell you. I know I would do my hardest to help to give them the best possible life, and make sure they were happy and felt loved. I know I would deal with them being Deaf very well, simply because I know how life is for that - so It's only because I have the experience. It's true, we're good with what we know.

I'd love to know your thoughts, or experiences with this article? How did you deal with the news that your child was deaf/had a disability? How would you cope with the news?

(This article is only of my own opinion and I hope non of the content offended anyone, as it certainly wasn't meant - Imogene.)

Madagascar 3: Eleanor's non-subtitled review.

Title: Madagascar 3: Europes Most Wanted
Directed: Eric Darnell, Conrad Vernon
Starring: Ben Stiller, Chris Rock, David Schwimmer, Jada Pinkett Smith, Sacha Baron Cohen, Cedric the Entertainer, Andy Richter, Frances MdDomand, Bryan Cranston, Martin Short
Genre: Animation, PG

 OK so I will start with confessing that I had to go and see this without subtitles. My job
involves taking service users to where they want to go, and this particular service user wanted to see Madagascar 3. Previously I have taken service users to the cinema lots of times without subtitles and immediately regretted it. The last time I took a service user (before this time obviously!!) I made a mental note to stop taking anyone to non-subtitled films; I had been with a fidgety service user to see the awful, dragged out, worlds most non-deaf aware film ever called ‘The Lorax’. I’m sure the film was great if you had understood a word of what was said, but it was an animation so I could not lip-read, the Lorax was constantly in shadows with a young boy who had clearly not hit puberty and had the most inaudible voice for my hearing to detect. I can still remember how I felt during that film and it felt like it went on for hours, trying so hard not to fall asleep (which the fidgety service user definitely helped with).

 Anyway, this review will probably not be like my future reviews. This review, I would like to tell you what I understood of the film (so please, if you haven’t watched the film and intend to watch it DO NOT read any further! – SPOILERS!!).  

 OK so here we go.

1.    The crew (Alex the Lion, Marty the Zebra, Gloria the Hippo and Melman the Giraffe and yes I googled that, didn’t know what they were called apart from Melman as I always think of him as Ross from Friends.) are all in Madagascar and the penguins leave for an adventure. Alex (the lion) thinks he hears them say they’re never coming back and has a dream that they are all old and still in Madagascar – not sure why that was relevant?

2.    I can’t remember how they get out of Madagascar and at this point am really confused because I thought they wanted to be in Madagascar and were loving it there.

3.    An evil woman pops into the story who treasures stuffed animals and really wants the lions head for her collection.

4.    The crew find a circus on a train and want to help them or work with them or something, the circus say no and then yes? And the crew get onboard the train.

5.    Monkeys get the deed for the circus (not sure why this is important either) and we learn why the circus failed previously – due to the Tiger trying to run through a small ring on fire and failing? Alex (the lion) helps get his confidence back and Tiger is able to do the act once again.

6.    The circus crew find a paper article about the animals missing from the zoo and are upset with the original crew because of some reason that I didn’t understand/hear – I thought that the crew were trying to get with the circus and enjoyed being with them?

7.    Evil woman still after the animals but the animals are tranquillised in front of the zoo (that the crew were originally trying to get too?) and the zoo keeper thinks that the evil woman is giving them back and gives her the reward (money).

8.    Evil woman rips up the cheque, she doesn’t want money, she wants the lion and attempts to shoot Alex but he is saved by the circus.

9.    I assume that the crew are happy to stay with the circus? And Marty starts to sing ‘I like to move it, move it’.

OK so that’s my understanding of the film. Because it was animated and largely relies on the animation side of things I was able to get a lot without dialogue. But there are so many things that I didn’t understand that could be solved with knowing the dialogue. It can be so frustrating only being able to laugh at the things I can visually see and missing the dialogue humour.

Although I didn’t enjoy not having subtitles I have always liked Madagascar films and my favourite part was the relationship between the circus bear and King Julien who falls instantly in love. It demonstrated that love is everywhere and it doesn’t matter how different two people are, what they look like, how old they are, if there’s a connection its right.

I also enjoyed the storyline about the Tiger, he got overconfident with the ring trick and when he failed he became grumpy and closed-minded. He lost hope, so the others around him (the circus) lost hope too. But with a bit of help he was able to do it again and become a brilliant act once more.

I feel unable to rate this film because I did not get all aspects of it and do not think it fair of me to judge it on what I have understood. I would say that it’s a brilliant film, the graphics were amazing (I watched it on 2D) and that my service user enjoyed it very much (although they were under the age of 8).

For those of you who are not deaf this will hopefully give you an insight to our world.