I recently read a comment on a Facebook Deafness page that I follow. People write on there very often sharing tips or asking questions related to a Deaf matter. I follow it because Els sent me a request once to read an article and I've yet to delete it.. not that I have a reason to.
I often find reading other peoples thoughts and feelings on being Deaf really interesting, it seems so many people find so many different degrees of Deafness and love sharing what it means to them. I love this, regardless of saying that I didn't like admitting I was "Deaf" but despite it, I like to know how people view themselves - I have such respect to all them that are very open and honest about their situation. It takes guts to show what can be a weakness to others (and yourself) and see it in the best possible light, it's wonderful and there's definitely something we can all learn from it.
The other day something stood out to me. It was a young girl just throwing a question out for debate and of course many had a opinion to throw in. I watched for a while seeing how this conversation was going to play out and it was really lovely to read so many genuine answers.
The question being:
Showing posts with label Disability. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Disability. Show all posts
Monday, 15 June 2015
Thursday, 28 May 2015
Deafness & Friendships by Imogene
I first want to apologise as I've neglected this blog for my own family one Little and Big and this one has been on the back burner of many ovens I have to juggle.
Life is very much like that busy time when you're cooking tea and there's so much to be done, yet everything happens at once! But I'm making a mid year promise to you readers that I'm going to make more of an effort with this blog. I love this blog and I love what it stands for. I love that I can share things that I maybe wouldn't on my other blog.
I know that may seem like an odd thing to write but I'm not one to feel like I need to broadcast my Deafness and it does pop up over there occasionally but I mostly write about my every day life and the things that are important to me in that time. I write passionately about my little family and to be honest, I don't like to feel that my Deafness holds me back in any regards. (clearly does - hearing aids, hello!)
Eleanor (or El as I know her as - feels odd to call her by her proper name!) asked me the other day if I was ashamed of wearing hearing aids. I replied, ' I don't like them no' and she asked 'why not? Without them you wouldn't be able to hear.' She had a point.
But I honestly don't like wearing them. I don't like how they affect my hairstyle choice. I know it seems such a trivial matter in life but I don't like them on show and I always feel like they are. I feel I want to do plaits and them scruffy top buns - obviously I can, and I do around the house but in public I don't have the confidence to do so.
I don't like meeting new people and them finding out as it changes things so quickly. They look at your face more and over pronounce the words - they treat you like you're deaf. I hate that so much, I don't want to be treated like that, I want them to talk to me like they do other people because I usually am fine and pick it up, there's only odd parts I may miss. I'd rather play dumb and be like 'oh pardon?'.
Honestly, I'd love it if any of you feel this way, mention it in the comments :)
I'm aware that most of this is probably my own insecurities and awkwardness to the whole Deaf persona. I guess I don't like that I depend on my hearing aids, and I don't like glorifying my Deafness. I've never used it to my advantage and I've never been one to show it off. I'm a Deaf person, living in a hearing world. I'm just not.. proud to be Deaf I suppose. There's many downsides to being Deaf that I can't really see why people would be 'Deaf and Proud' and sometimes I have to be brutally honest that the Deaf community can make me feel so awkward and cringy at times. I find at times that I can't see why it's different to any other disability. People live with all types of disabilities, so I don't see why mine's an issue. God, I've probably offended you all, but hear me out. I think it's honestly amazing that people can be so positive about Deafness and are really open, share tips and attend Deaf events. It's fabulous that people can genuinely embrace it. (like El, building a signing choir! It's going places - it's amazing! I probably should give it a go at some point.) The support is amazing in the Deaf community and I find it really lovely.
But somehow, I think I find myself feeling selfish if I think on it too much, especially with a young family. I have to work through being Deaf to make me the best possible Mum and Wife I can be. I guess I ijhjust feel stupid if I mishear things, so I feel I need to keep on top. I don't feel I have time to bother. But, I know without my hearing aids, I'd be useless. Completely crap at everything but I'm glad I'm not. I do depend on my hearing aids whether I like it or not. I will always be Deaf whether I like it or not and I'll live with it as well as I have done up to now. I'm incredibly grateful that hearing aids have been made and brought out.
I'm also pretty damn lucky to have met my best friend through being Deaf as well. There's many plus's to being Deaf as I can take my hearing aids out and sleep in silence (that has got to be the best thing right?!) and I've made some of my best friendships through it.
I guess I've probably just got to get over it and why should I hide it? There's nothing wrong with it. It's all me isn't it? This post probably doesn't make that much sense as I totally contradicted myself in most ways - but I'm sure we've been on that route to self acceptance.
Maybe I have, maybe I haven't.
I'd love you to share your thoughts with me x
Sunday, 20 July 2014
Playing Mum with No Working Hearing Aids.. by Imogene
Hi there again!
I am a Mum to two beautiful young boys (3 & 13 weeks) and they are the centre of my world. Everyday, I am doing things with them, listening to their cries, chants and giggles. They're honestly the most beautiful sounds I hear and I thoroughly appreciate being able to hear them. But what happens on the one day you can't?
Let me explain.
Wednesday last week, I woke as usual to the vibration of Freddie thumping around the bedroom and his (very) high pitched squeal as my hubby is tickling him. It's a normal morning. I sit up and put my hearing aids in and try and hush my lads as my littlest is fast asleep, and well, it's too early to hear such loud noises.
I get up, get dressed and go fetch some breakfast as Noah is still fast asleep. I do love the hectic mornings in this house. It's constantly filled with Freddie shouting he wants more milk with his cereal, or how hubby will be late home that afternoon, or that Noah will want a bottle at 20 past the hour. It's all so normal and it's the thing I wake up to and adore. I like the sound of babbling voices and things lumping around. It's my family.
I however dislike when my hearing aids run out. The tapping really irritates me, and always seem to start at the most inconvenient time! But like everything you tend to do as a parent you just put it to one side and get round to it when you can. My life is busy as a Mum, I'm constantly on the go of feeding and changing, as well as talking and playing. So on the day when one of your hearing aids decides it's finished it's battery life, you think "yeah, OK, I'll change you once I've finish *insert job here*" and this is exactly what I did.
Until my other one decided to start going off too.
Safe to say I rely on my hearing aids A LOT when I'm at home.
Freddie is very much one of them Toddlers that when they want something, they'll want to drag you or keep hanging around the item they want; for example Freddie keeps opening and shutting the pantry door when he wants something to eat. It's probably partly because he's around me most of the time, so knows that will get my attention. Of course he doesn't always do that, he does often shove his face in mine and go "Can I have a biscuit?" "Mummmmmmmmmmmy, I'm huuungry!" or "What time is it? Is it time for Dinner?!"
So on this day my hearing aids were tapping away, driving me up the wall. I had to stop doing everything and find some batteries.
I have many spots around the house and in bags where my battery packs seem to accumulate. In a basket above the microwave, in my handbag, in Noah's changing bag and beside my bedside. I went to all of my usual spots and there were either packets of all used batteries (why these were still here I've no idea!) or there was nothing to find.
I was a Mum in a house alone with two young, demanding kids and I was completely deaf.
You could imagine how quiet it felt. It felt really odd seeing and looking after my kids but with absolutely no hearing. I managed the best I could and things were OK, I just had to watch everything 10x more than I ever had before. Every move and action had to be accounted for.
A natural thing as a parent is to keep an eye out and look after your child, but there was something about them hours that made me feel like I was doing a terrible job. I know I wasn't really, but it did make me realise that sometimes I rely on my Aids more than I think.
I contacted my mum by text and she tried ringing me, but texting that I can't hear and well, it was a massive miscommunication but finally got to explain that I don't have any batteries!
As a family we don't have any transport so I couldn't drive to the Hospital, I didn't have any cash on me to get the bus to the Hospital, or a shop to buy any, Chris was at work until 5, which means the shops would be close by the time he finished his shift (not to mention it was 10am in the morning).. It was basically the most annoying situation ever.
My Nan came to my rescue and brought some in Boots for me and brought them to me (Got to love Grandparents who'll do anything for you!). I was saved and all systems were go..
I will never let myself get in that situation ever again. It was hugely frustrating.
It showed me what I am capable of as a Mum, exactly how much I appreciate having Hearing Aids in my life and that I love the sounds my family make. If I didn't have them, I don't know what I'd do!
I am a Mum to two beautiful young boys (3 & 13 weeks) and they are the centre of my world. Everyday, I am doing things with them, listening to their cries, chants and giggles. They're honestly the most beautiful sounds I hear and I thoroughly appreciate being able to hear them. But what happens on the one day you can't?
Let me explain.
Wednesday last week, I woke as usual to the vibration of Freddie thumping around the bedroom and his (very) high pitched squeal as my hubby is tickling him. It's a normal morning. I sit up and put my hearing aids in and try and hush my lads as my littlest is fast asleep, and well, it's too early to hear such loud noises.
I get up, get dressed and go fetch some breakfast as Noah is still fast asleep. I do love the hectic mornings in this house. It's constantly filled with Freddie shouting he wants more milk with his cereal, or how hubby will be late home that afternoon, or that Noah will want a bottle at 20 past the hour. It's all so normal and it's the thing I wake up to and adore. I like the sound of babbling voices and things lumping around. It's my family.
I however dislike when my hearing aids run out. The tapping really irritates me, and always seem to start at the most inconvenient time! But like everything you tend to do as a parent you just put it to one side and get round to it when you can. My life is busy as a Mum, I'm constantly on the go of feeding and changing, as well as talking and playing. So on the day when one of your hearing aids decides it's finished it's battery life, you think "yeah, OK, I'll change you once I've finish *insert job here*" and this is exactly what I did.
Until my other one decided to start going off too.
Safe to say I rely on my hearing aids A LOT when I'm at home.
Freddie is very much one of them Toddlers that when they want something, they'll want to drag you or keep hanging around the item they want; for example Freddie keeps opening and shutting the pantry door when he wants something to eat. It's probably partly because he's around me most of the time, so knows that will get my attention. Of course he doesn't always do that, he does often shove his face in mine and go "Can I have a biscuit?" "Mummmmmmmmmmmy, I'm huuungry!" or "What time is it? Is it time for Dinner?!"
So on this day my hearing aids were tapping away, driving me up the wall. I had to stop doing everything and find some batteries.
I have many spots around the house and in bags where my battery packs seem to accumulate. In a basket above the microwave, in my handbag, in Noah's changing bag and beside my bedside. I went to all of my usual spots and there were either packets of all used batteries (why these were still here I've no idea!) or there was nothing to find.
Oh Sh*t!
I was a Mum in a house alone with two young, demanding kids and I was completely deaf.
You could imagine how quiet it felt. It felt really odd seeing and looking after my kids but with absolutely no hearing. I managed the best I could and things were OK, I just had to watch everything 10x more than I ever had before. Every move and action had to be accounted for.
A natural thing as a parent is to keep an eye out and look after your child, but there was something about them hours that made me feel like I was doing a terrible job. I know I wasn't really, but it did make me realise that sometimes I rely on my Aids more than I think.
I contacted my mum by text and she tried ringing me, but texting that I can't hear and well, it was a massive miscommunication but finally got to explain that I don't have any batteries!
As a family we don't have any transport so I couldn't drive to the Hospital, I didn't have any cash on me to get the bus to the Hospital, or a shop to buy any, Chris was at work until 5, which means the shops would be close by the time he finished his shift (not to mention it was 10am in the morning).. It was basically the most annoying situation ever.
My Nan came to my rescue and brought some in Boots for me and brought them to me (Got to love Grandparents who'll do anything for you!). I was saved and all systems were go..
I will never let myself get in that situation ever again. It was hugely frustrating.
It showed me what I am capable of as a Mum, exactly how much I appreciate having Hearing Aids in my life and that I love the sounds my family make. If I didn't have them, I don't know what I'd do!
Sunday, 4 May 2014
Boo! by Imogene
Hello!!
Long time no speak... literally!
(sorry for the post title, but couldn't think of one that goes, but it's amusing all the same!)
I firstly want to apologise for the lack of posting for well, months now. I've been really really busy with well, everything; but mostly my little family, which I would like to say has had an addition to, in the last couple of weeks!
So, I've rather had my hands full with my new little guy :) Oh, and not to mention Freddie too!
Ok, so I've got a massive confession to make - I've been cheating on this Blog with another! I've got a personal 'family' blog that I have been heavily involved with in the last few months.. and its slowly become to show that I've neglected this one - I'm very sorry!
I mainly started my other blog because I felt I never had enough to say for this one that was Deaf related as my family are literally, as sad as it sounds, is all I do. I hardly ever have many Deaf stories to share.. Which I think is kinda a good thing.. Shows that my hearing doesn't take over the majority of what happens in my daily life. (That really isn't in any way meant to sound patronising and offensive to any other deaf persons)
However, on this rare occasion, I do have a little something deaf related that I can share with you.
For the last few months I've been off to the Hospital for check ups on my Diabetes (as well as bump). I've been lucky to be able to have quite a few scans too, so it's not all been bad but there was a particular day that wasn't joyful or a planned event.
When I was 36+6 weeks pregnant I woke up and found some bleeding. Naturally this really worried me and I was terribly panicked that it could mean that something was going wrong with #2 (Noah as he is now). I rang my mum and she told me it could be the 'show' as they call it, but to make sure I rang my midwife.
I'm so glad that my midwife that I've had all along answered the phone (I also had her for my monthly check ups with Freddie too!) and she tried calming me and asked me to explain and tell her what had happened and what I found.. I explained it all and she told me to ring the Hospital to get checked out - simply to make sure everything was alright!
The funny thing that she said (it's funny now, not really at the time) was "Imogene, make sure when you go to the Hospital and see them that you tell them that you're Deaf! Because you don't always hear things right and it isn't obvious that you are.. I don't want you saying 'Yes' to something you don't hear"
Thinking back on it, it's such a true statement. I never tell people I'm Deaf. I'm not really sure why.. probably because I'm usually not too bad without telling them, but also because (as stupid as it sounds) I sometimes forget I'm actually Deaf! It sounds so laughable and really, it is but I occasionally do forget.
My mum comes to the appointments with me and very often goes 'Oh, Imz is Deaf, so if she doesn't reply or looks confused it's probably because she didn't hear you' (because I never normally mention it!) and then the same old comments come out 'Oh are you? I never realised' 'Ooh, you don't sound like you're Deaf, your speech is very normal' and 'You don't look Deaf, you're very attentive and reply quick, do you lipread?'
These comments always make me laugh. Writing them down does seem like you should take offense to what they say because it sounds rude. But I'm so open about it, I don't mind people having a say on it - at least it's not said behind my back or in whispers!
Anyhow, everything was fine. There was no explanation for the bleeding, just that it happens sometimes, but there was no sign of any other further bleeding.
I didn't have a fantastic birth, but it happened and little man arrived here at last!
To read or follow my family life feel free to become a follower/share my Blog - do say Hello too! :)
Monday, 9 December 2013
Super-bot hearing! by Imogene
Hey there guys! Been a while since I have posted anything. I've been a busy lady, I've recently found out that I'm pregnant with #2 and it's another little boy! Been a very exciting time for me, my family and friends so been enjoying the news together! (Also I'm a Celebrity had taken over my life for the last three weeks that I haven't been able to find time to get onto the laptop and update you all - sorry!)
I wanted to share the latest Deaf related news that I have and that is, that I have got new and improved Hearing Aids! I recently went to Audiology at the Hospital to get new tubes and the woman who fitted them had a moan at me as my Aids were too out of date and my moulds were old. Admittedly I haven't been to Audiology since I was 15 and was told I didn't need to come back unless I had a problem. Neither my moulds or my Hearing Aids have been of any trouble to me. I felt I needed to defend my Aids as they may be old but they have got me this far and I've not done too bad with them! However this one time I was at the Hospital for another appointment so thought I would get tubes redone whilst waiting.
I got a appointment to go back and have a hearing test as the last one was a long time ago (7 years), plus it's always interesting to see how it's all doing. I've never noticed any difference in my hearing at all over the years and it was confirmed in the test - they're exactly the same. I was very pleased, simply because no Deaf person wants to hear their hearing is getting worse! I got some moulds done and was told that I would be sent another appointment to collect them and get some new Aids.
Went back again.. and was told that I need to be updated regardless whether my hearing aids are OK or not, as if they were to break, they wouldn't be able to replace or mend them (personally, I wouldn't have minded until they broke to get some news ones really..) but I took advantage of the offer and admittedly my moulds felt more snug than the old ones, so I did need some really! Then it was time to check out the new Hearing Aids. It was quite a novelty trying out some different and more technology-evolved than my current ones at the time.. I guess I had got so used to having my old hearing aids, that the moulds and Aids were what I needed and used, but at the same time it was naive of me to think that I was the best I can be with hearing aids from 7 years ago! The ones I received last time were the best at the time and was told I was among the first handful to start wearing them all them years ago - but times change!
The new ones unlike the old ones were plugged into the computer and altered according to how I needed them to be. I was also told that were different settings that I could have onto my hearing aids and there were a choice of up to 5! (I orginially thought 'How many do you need!?' But she did go on to explain.) My old ones had only two, background noise and T-Loop, but I decided to keep both of them onto my new ones and include a TV setting, which by the way is by far my favourite one! They tune into the TV and dim down any noises that are in the room, including people talking (haha!) but also makes the voices on the screen clearer and generally more focused which is perfect for me! The only downside to that option is if there is another device such as a laptop playing a video for example, the hearing aids try and mingle the two. Which isn't ideal when you're trying to watch something!
I also have a everyday use option which is what my hearing aid is automatically tuned into as soon as they are switched on. I've found since being home that the everyday use one is really echo-y and its really frustrating when I'm listening to people as their words aren't clearly said, so I'm hoping to get that readjusted. It seemed fine at the appointment but since I got home I've not found it the ideal one. (probably down to the fault of having soundproof rooms!) My noisy background one makes everything quiet apart from the voice or what you're listening out to, but I still find the appointed sound too quiet so I mostly use the TV setting at the moment as it seems to be a mixture of all the three setting together!
I sound like I'm moaning but I'm not really, I love them compared to my old ones, what I do hear is amplified and clearer which is every deaf person dream! I have also been hearing noises that I haven't either A - noticed or B - heard before like keys jangling in my hand or the noises my son ask 'what's that?' and being able to say what it is without feeling a incompetent mother and also I can hear the radio on the volume of 6 in the back of the car.. All in all, I'm feeling like a super-bot with amazing hearing at the moment! It's open my eyes to realise that Hearing Aids are going to be improving just as much as mobile phones and 3D TVs etc - shows how important it is to go regularly to improve the vital things that are needed on a daily basis!
I wanted to share the latest Deaf related news that I have and that is, that I have got new and improved Hearing Aids! I recently went to Audiology at the Hospital to get new tubes and the woman who fitted them had a moan at me as my Aids were too out of date and my moulds were old. Admittedly I haven't been to Audiology since I was 15 and was told I didn't need to come back unless I had a problem. Neither my moulds or my Hearing Aids have been of any trouble to me. I felt I needed to defend my Aids as they may be old but they have got me this far and I've not done too bad with them! However this one time I was at the Hospital for another appointment so thought I would get tubes redone whilst waiting.
I got a appointment to go back and have a hearing test as the last one was a long time ago (7 years), plus it's always interesting to see how it's all doing. I've never noticed any difference in my hearing at all over the years and it was confirmed in the test - they're exactly the same. I was very pleased, simply because no Deaf person wants to hear their hearing is getting worse! I got some moulds done and was told that I would be sent another appointment to collect them and get some new Aids.
Went back again.. and was told that I need to be updated regardless whether my hearing aids are OK or not, as if they were to break, they wouldn't be able to replace or mend them (personally, I wouldn't have minded until they broke to get some news ones really..) but I took advantage of the offer and admittedly my moulds felt more snug than the old ones, so I did need some really! Then it was time to check out the new Hearing Aids. It was quite a novelty trying out some different and more technology-evolved than my current ones at the time.. I guess I had got so used to having my old hearing aids, that the moulds and Aids were what I needed and used, but at the same time it was naive of me to think that I was the best I can be with hearing aids from 7 years ago! The ones I received last time were the best at the time and was told I was among the first handful to start wearing them all them years ago - but times change!
The new ones unlike the old ones were plugged into the computer and altered according to how I needed them to be. I was also told that were different settings that I could have onto my hearing aids and there were a choice of up to 5! (I orginially thought 'How many do you need!?' But she did go on to explain.) My old ones had only two, background noise and T-Loop, but I decided to keep both of them onto my new ones and include a TV setting, which by the way is by far my favourite one! They tune into the TV and dim down any noises that are in the room, including people talking (haha!) but also makes the voices on the screen clearer and generally more focused which is perfect for me! The only downside to that option is if there is another device such as a laptop playing a video for example, the hearing aids try and mingle the two. Which isn't ideal when you're trying to watch something!
I also have a everyday use option which is what my hearing aid is automatically tuned into as soon as they are switched on. I've found since being home that the everyday use one is really echo-y and its really frustrating when I'm listening to people as their words aren't clearly said, so I'm hoping to get that readjusted. It seemed fine at the appointment but since I got home I've not found it the ideal one. (probably down to the fault of having soundproof rooms!) My noisy background one makes everything quiet apart from the voice or what you're listening out to, but I still find the appointed sound too quiet so I mostly use the TV setting at the moment as it seems to be a mixture of all the three setting together!
I sound like I'm moaning but I'm not really, I love them compared to my old ones, what I do hear is amplified and clearer which is every deaf person dream! I have also been hearing noises that I haven't either A - noticed or B - heard before like keys jangling in my hand or the noises my son ask 'what's that?' and being able to say what it is without feeling a incompetent mother and also I can hear the radio on the volume of 6 in the back of the car.. All in all, I'm feeling like a super-bot with amazing hearing at the moment! It's open my eyes to realise that Hearing Aids are going to be improving just as much as mobile phones and 3D TVs etc - shows how important it is to go regularly to improve the vital things that are needed on a daily basis!
Thursday, 3 October 2013
Part 1: Learning to Drive as a Deaf Person by Imogene
Hey, so I've started to learn to drive. Simply because we need transport as a family, we need to be more independant (rather than relying on parents/grandparents to give us lifts to places) and well it'd improve on our family life in general.
Being a mum i'm constantly worrying about money and whilst driving is an additional strain to the family finances, it'll be worth it in the end as my Grandad has offered to give us his car so that we don't have to worry about financing that - and looking at the insurance, it seems annually it's not a bad deal either, so that helps tremendously. Also, we'll have that much needed transport!
I've booked up with RED driving school and went for my first 2 hour assessment lesson and is said to probably need around 40 hours - apparently it's the average for most learners with no experience. I managed to speak to my instructor on the phone and I did explain to him that I was deaf, because I always find it's polite to explain it and also means that he understands if I don't hear him, why I didn't. He seemed really understanding of the matter and said to tell him if there's anything I didn't get and that he'll help in the best way he can. I really enjoyed it after feeling sick with nerves, but once I got in the car it seems it went away (I guess the unknown is super scary!) and my instructor seemed really nice! Chatty, has a clear voice (definitely needed!) and explains things in a way that's easy for you to take in. All of them qualities are really good for being deaf, and actually they were the things I worried about most! I got in the car and adjusted A LOT of the settings, as my instructor is a broad rugby player standing at 6ft 4.. so yeah, adjustments needed! He told me about where everything was and what I need to do to move off. I never realised as a passenger how much work is actually involved in driving, how much you need to be aware and what you need to think about - I guess most of this is due to what's happening with your feet. Your feet does most of the leg work (no pun intended!). And you don't as a passenger see what the driver is doing with their feet!
I stalled as soon as I set off and as a beginner you're constantly like "what did I do? I did what you said!" but slowly through the lesson you start to realise what you did that made such a such happen. My problem mostly was letting go of the clutch too early! (The worlds most sensitive thing going, eh?) but my REAL problem was hearing the biting point.. for the life of me I just couldn't get it. My instructor told me to listen and "feel" when it's right to go, but I felt like it was impossible to do. I still need to work on it but, I'd like to think I'll get better and at least feel what I need to, to go. I found it terribly frustrating - it was one of the moments where I genuinely hated being deaf! Why can't I just hear it like everyone else, because it'd make things a lot easier - there again, when was anything easy in life? I just thought to myself that there's no point in thinking and feeling that way, and that I should just improve what I can hear and feel and well, hope that I get better at it. I know it's only my first lesson, I have plenty of time to learn and get it before my test! I have to stick with the positives.
I found the best way to interact with my instructor was to talk through my actions. It gave me the reassurance that I knew what I was doing and if I hadn't done something right he could jump in and correct me - I found it the best way to progress through the lesson, meaning I understood what I was doing and like he told me "driving is a routine".
I shall post regularly about my lessons and hopefully i'll get a hold of that biting point! Feel free to share any of your learning to drive stories and the ways you have found that makes your driving experience easier as a deaf/hearing person. Any tips or suggestions are massively welcome :)
Being a mum i'm constantly worrying about money and whilst driving is an additional strain to the family finances, it'll be worth it in the end as my Grandad has offered to give us his car so that we don't have to worry about financing that - and looking at the insurance, it seems annually it's not a bad deal either, so that helps tremendously. Also, we'll have that much needed transport!
I've booked up with RED driving school and went for my first 2 hour assessment lesson and is said to probably need around 40 hours - apparently it's the average for most learners with no experience. I managed to speak to my instructor on the phone and I did explain to him that I was deaf, because I always find it's polite to explain it and also means that he understands if I don't hear him, why I didn't. He seemed really understanding of the matter and said to tell him if there's anything I didn't get and that he'll help in the best way he can. I really enjoyed it after feeling sick with nerves, but once I got in the car it seems it went away (I guess the unknown is super scary!) and my instructor seemed really nice! Chatty, has a clear voice (definitely needed!) and explains things in a way that's easy for you to take in. All of them qualities are really good for being deaf, and actually they were the things I worried about most! I got in the car and adjusted A LOT of the settings, as my instructor is a broad rugby player standing at 6ft 4.. so yeah, adjustments needed! He told me about where everything was and what I need to do to move off. I never realised as a passenger how much work is actually involved in driving, how much you need to be aware and what you need to think about - I guess most of this is due to what's happening with your feet. Your feet does most of the leg work (no pun intended!). And you don't as a passenger see what the driver is doing with their feet!
I stalled as soon as I set off and as a beginner you're constantly like "what did I do? I did what you said!" but slowly through the lesson you start to realise what you did that made such a such happen. My problem mostly was letting go of the clutch too early! (The worlds most sensitive thing going, eh?) but my REAL problem was hearing the biting point.. for the life of me I just couldn't get it. My instructor told me to listen and "feel" when it's right to go, but I felt like it was impossible to do. I still need to work on it but, I'd like to think I'll get better and at least feel what I need to, to go. I found it terribly frustrating - it was one of the moments where I genuinely hated being deaf! Why can't I just hear it like everyone else, because it'd make things a lot easier - there again, when was anything easy in life? I just thought to myself that there's no point in thinking and feeling that way, and that I should just improve what I can hear and feel and well, hope that I get better at it. I know it's only my first lesson, I have plenty of time to learn and get it before my test! I have to stick with the positives.
I found the best way to interact with my instructor was to talk through my actions. It gave me the reassurance that I knew what I was doing and if I hadn't done something right he could jump in and correct me - I found it the best way to progress through the lesson, meaning I understood what I was doing and like he told me "driving is a routine".
I shall post regularly about my lessons and hopefully i'll get a hold of that biting point! Feel free to share any of your learning to drive stories and the ways you have found that makes your driving experience easier as a deaf/hearing person. Any tips or suggestions are massively welcome :)
Monday, 30 September 2013
Bedtime Fears as a Deaf Mother by Imogene
Hello everyone,
Once again I'll apologise for the lack of posting, been awfully busy with my little family that I haven't managed to get round to sharing a couple of stories that I have been wanting to!
My husband is a Chef at a local hotel and he very often works the worst hours for a family, and whilst it's like that we're lucky he gets 2 days off a week (sometimes only 1 during busy weeks) but, he actually has a job!
One day he comes home and announces he's going to have to stay at work the following night as he can't get into work as it's an early start, so he's going to have to stay in one of the hotel rooms. As he's unable to get a lift in as he's covering for someone who's on holiday, and we have no transport (something we're working on) there was little choice in anything else. When he mentioned it I was fine with the idea, I mean he's had nights alone with our son whilst I've been away with the girls, so really it probably was about time I had a night alone in the bed (plus I could spread out, what more could I really ask for?). I did what I do every night of the week, put my son to bed, do the last few house chores and then relax in front of the soaps for the evening.
It was only when it reached 11pm that I started feeling sad, because I always know he'll be home about now, no matter how many hours he's done in the day. I wanted him to come in the house, talk too loud, (as they have to talk loud in the kitchen over the fans - so he says!) get a drink and then moan about what time he's starting the next day and then we'd go upstairs, check on Freddie and then go to bed, turning the lights off as we go through. But that night, I was alone, going through the routine. The bed was cold (Men have a way of warming the bed for you even if they're in their half and only in the bed 30 seconds before you climb in) and the bedroom seemed too dark. I moved our son's baby monitor to my bedside, in case he woke up it'll wake me more than the usual place of across the room - I never have a problem with the night calls as Freddie rarely wakes and as Chris is such a light sleeper he normally gets up. But tonight it was all me, I take my hearing aids out and it feels weird being in the bed, because everything was odd. Nothing felt right. I felt really nervous to be left in the house on my own overnight.
It seems silly really because we come from a good area and we know one of the neighbours really well, but I felt so unsettled. I know part of it was because Chris wasn't there, but also because I was in complete silence. I was alone, I felt alone in the house, even though Freddie was next door, I was worried and my fears began to ran through my mind. I worried that Freddie would wake up, cry and cry, but I didn't wake up. I worried that if there happens to be a burglar, I would be completely useless as I wouldn't hear them break in. What if they were kidnappers and took Freddie when he was asleep and I never heard them get in the house, nor past our room into ours? What if. That's what kept me up thinking of all the things, that I couldn't hear or do if anything was to happen. I've never realised how vulnerable I am when I have no hearing aids in - anything could literally happen, if I didn't see, feel or hear it, I'm actually no good. I wouldn't be able to be the mother that my son needed in them few minutes, because I couldn't hear him..
So I ended up putting my hearing aids in and laying there all night awake, twitching at every noise. (As weird as it is to have them out, I do enjoy the silence during the night, but having the hearing aids in was strange as I could hear the boiler, the dog bark outside, the few cars that actually go past at 3am, everything.) I actually couldn't sleep - I'm sure I fell asleep eventually but it didn't feel like it. The night seemed to go on forever, I kept looking at the clock. I felt exhausted, but I just couldn't relax. What if.
My son never woke up at all, and we never got burgled, nor had any kidnappers in the house. Everything was a perfectly normal night apart from the lack of my Zzz's and Husband in the house.
One thing that did make me smile was that Chris text me the next morning saying 'Crap nights sleep :( It's not the same without you. X' Seems we both had a rubbish night, so I've told him he's not allowed to work that shift unless he can get a lift in! I guess we get used to the way in which we live!
Once again I'll apologise for the lack of posting, been awfully busy with my little family that I haven't managed to get round to sharing a couple of stories that I have been wanting to!
My husband is a Chef at a local hotel and he very often works the worst hours for a family, and whilst it's like that we're lucky he gets 2 days off a week (sometimes only 1 during busy weeks) but, he actually has a job!
One day he comes home and announces he's going to have to stay at work the following night as he can't get into work as it's an early start, so he's going to have to stay in one of the hotel rooms. As he's unable to get a lift in as he's covering for someone who's on holiday, and we have no transport (something we're working on) there was little choice in anything else. When he mentioned it I was fine with the idea, I mean he's had nights alone with our son whilst I've been away with the girls, so really it probably was about time I had a night alone in the bed (plus I could spread out, what more could I really ask for?). I did what I do every night of the week, put my son to bed, do the last few house chores and then relax in front of the soaps for the evening.
It was only when it reached 11pm that I started feeling sad, because I always know he'll be home about now, no matter how many hours he's done in the day. I wanted him to come in the house, talk too loud, (as they have to talk loud in the kitchen over the fans - so he says!) get a drink and then moan about what time he's starting the next day and then we'd go upstairs, check on Freddie and then go to bed, turning the lights off as we go through. But that night, I was alone, going through the routine. The bed was cold (Men have a way of warming the bed for you even if they're in their half and only in the bed 30 seconds before you climb in) and the bedroom seemed too dark. I moved our son's baby monitor to my bedside, in case he woke up it'll wake me more than the usual place of across the room - I never have a problem with the night calls as Freddie rarely wakes and as Chris is such a light sleeper he normally gets up. But tonight it was all me, I take my hearing aids out and it feels weird being in the bed, because everything was odd. Nothing felt right. I felt really nervous to be left in the house on my own overnight.
It seems silly really because we come from a good area and we know one of the neighbours really well, but I felt so unsettled. I know part of it was because Chris wasn't there, but also because I was in complete silence. I was alone, I felt alone in the house, even though Freddie was next door, I was worried and my fears began to ran through my mind. I worried that Freddie would wake up, cry and cry, but I didn't wake up. I worried that if there happens to be a burglar, I would be completely useless as I wouldn't hear them break in. What if they were kidnappers and took Freddie when he was asleep and I never heard them get in the house, nor past our room into ours? What if. That's what kept me up thinking of all the things, that I couldn't hear or do if anything was to happen. I've never realised how vulnerable I am when I have no hearing aids in - anything could literally happen, if I didn't see, feel or hear it, I'm actually no good. I wouldn't be able to be the mother that my son needed in them few minutes, because I couldn't hear him..
So I ended up putting my hearing aids in and laying there all night awake, twitching at every noise. (As weird as it is to have them out, I do enjoy the silence during the night, but having the hearing aids in was strange as I could hear the boiler, the dog bark outside, the few cars that actually go past at 3am, everything.) I actually couldn't sleep - I'm sure I fell asleep eventually but it didn't feel like it. The night seemed to go on forever, I kept looking at the clock. I felt exhausted, but I just couldn't relax. What if.
My son never woke up at all, and we never got burgled, nor had any kidnappers in the house. Everything was a perfectly normal night apart from the lack of my Zzz's and Husband in the house.
One thing that did make me smile was that Chris text me the next morning saying 'Crap nights sleep :( It's not the same without you. X' Seems we both had a rubbish night, so I've told him he's not allowed to work that shift unless he can get a lift in! I guess we get used to the way in which we live!
Sunday, 23 June 2013
I wanted the world to swallow me up! by Imogene
On Saturdays I usually go food shopping with my parents, and whilst it's not the most entertaining of chores to do - it does get you out the house for a while!
Now I normally feel very confident in myself especially when it comes to my hearing; I know this does sound odd for a Deaf person to state this. But I've always grown up in a very busy household, having 2 brothers and 2 sisters; it's quite safe to say there was never any lack of noise, squabbles and conversations. I loved my house and being in that environment! I also was always very close to my siblings growing up, so i'm sure this helped loads. I think growing up like that did help me overcome my issues with being Deaf as I learnt to laugh about any misunderstandings during any communications with any family members, also this is where I learnt my lip reading (It was a skill you needed). I was never given any special measures as a child, it was never a 'slow down and make Immy understand you' situation, and whilst many may read that and think 'Oh poor you' it never was like that, I went with it, if I missed something, I missed it, unless I chirped up and asked again, or I looked utterly confused and my parents would help me. It made me confident to be able to speak up and ask for help with anything that I needed, because simply there was too many of us to have one-to-one. Of course we did have some of them moments where mum would go through vocabulary and dad would help me get my point across through typing and explaining things in simpler terms and to be honest helped me very much when it was needed. I also gradually got this skill to be able to talk and have conversations with people through the next room (obviously voicing was quite loud) and where I can have my back to someone whilst doing something else - however to be able to do that it does have to be a voice I'm very comfortable with and is very familiar.
So as you can picture it, I'm with my shopping list going through Morrisons collecting everything on my list and any other useful items I happen to see that's on offer, loading them into my trolley. I tend to block the world out when I'm concentrating, but it's never a problem, no-one really speaks to you when you're shopping, do they?
I get to the tills and load up my shopping on the belt and rush to the front to start packing. As I go every week, there is normally the same people working on the tills. I have someone I recognize and start talking in polite conversation - I'm not the fastest packer, especially when i'm alone with a weeks worth of shopping, but I manage to pick up a fast pace. An Elderly couple start unloading their shopping onto the end of the belt whilst mine is coming down, I look up and smile at them whilst packing. I have to pay so I end up getting a little backlogged with a few items, entering my pin whilst trying to pack the final items. The couple had finished their bit and were then waiting for me to pull away until the woman mutters something completely incoherent to me and it stuns me, because normally I can pick a word up, but I didn't, so I say pardon and try again, nothing. Oops, this is getting a little embarrassing as I can't understand one word. I ask again, now attempting to purely lip-read her, but her lips are too close together so I couldn't attempt that, I then say "Sorry I'm Deaf" and she tries once more, which made the whole situation so awkward as I still didn't get her. I just didn't know what to do with myself as I tried so hard to understand her and failed like 4 times now so I just smile and look so confused (I'm guessing) because the checkout lady raised her voice and said 'Pink Drink' which made people from the surrounding tills look my way - as you would! I explained it was some version of squash my son likes and in a flash picked up the last few items and put them in the trolley.
And I have to say I never have felt so isolated in my whole life as I did in that moment. I think it was the shock that I couldn't actually pick anything up, it was almost like all the confidence I had in myself and my hearing, plummeted down to 0%. I was so embarrassed that I wanted to cry. Yes, I understand that sounds very dramatic, but I couldn't see a way of trying to laugh this one off.
I also have to confess that I haven't actually told anyone about this, so writing this is the first time I've shared this particular scary experience. Having gone through this experience it does make me appreciate how well I do cope on a day-to-day basis, and that I do sympathise massively with anyone that have this experience on a frequent basis. Normally I would pick something up and somehow would manage to make sense of it in my head or I'd get it by the 3rd time at a very push, but I never want to have that ever again. I quite literally wanted to be invisible at that moment. The only thing that made it worst was as I stepped away was hearing the checkout lady say "Oh don't worry, it wasn't you, she has them things in her ears.."
Now I normally feel very confident in myself especially when it comes to my hearing; I know this does sound odd for a Deaf person to state this. But I've always grown up in a very busy household, having 2 brothers and 2 sisters; it's quite safe to say there was never any lack of noise, squabbles and conversations. I loved my house and being in that environment! I also was always very close to my siblings growing up, so i'm sure this helped loads. I think growing up like that did help me overcome my issues with being Deaf as I learnt to laugh about any misunderstandings during any communications with any family members, also this is where I learnt my lip reading (It was a skill you needed). I was never given any special measures as a child, it was never a 'slow down and make Immy understand you' situation, and whilst many may read that and think 'Oh poor you' it never was like that, I went with it, if I missed something, I missed it, unless I chirped up and asked again, or I looked utterly confused and my parents would help me. It made me confident to be able to speak up and ask for help with anything that I needed, because simply there was too many of us to have one-to-one. Of course we did have some of them moments where mum would go through vocabulary and dad would help me get my point across through typing and explaining things in simpler terms and to be honest helped me very much when it was needed. I also gradually got this skill to be able to talk and have conversations with people through the next room (obviously voicing was quite loud) and where I can have my back to someone whilst doing something else - however to be able to do that it does have to be a voice I'm very comfortable with and is very familiar.
So as you can picture it, I'm with my shopping list going through Morrisons collecting everything on my list and any other useful items I happen to see that's on offer, loading them into my trolley. I tend to block the world out when I'm concentrating, but it's never a problem, no-one really speaks to you when you're shopping, do they?
I get to the tills and load up my shopping on the belt and rush to the front to start packing. As I go every week, there is normally the same people working on the tills. I have someone I recognize and start talking in polite conversation - I'm not the fastest packer, especially when i'm alone with a weeks worth of shopping, but I manage to pick up a fast pace. An Elderly couple start unloading their shopping onto the end of the belt whilst mine is coming down, I look up and smile at them whilst packing. I have to pay so I end up getting a little backlogged with a few items, entering my pin whilst trying to pack the final items. The couple had finished their bit and were then waiting for me to pull away until the woman mutters something completely incoherent to me and it stuns me, because normally I can pick a word up, but I didn't, so I say pardon and try again, nothing. Oops, this is getting a little embarrassing as I can't understand one word. I ask again, now attempting to purely lip-read her, but her lips are too close together so I couldn't attempt that, I then say "Sorry I'm Deaf" and she tries once more, which made the whole situation so awkward as I still didn't get her. I just didn't know what to do with myself as I tried so hard to understand her and failed like 4 times now so I just smile and look so confused (I'm guessing) because the checkout lady raised her voice and said 'Pink Drink' which made people from the surrounding tills look my way - as you would! I explained it was some version of squash my son likes and in a flash picked up the last few items and put them in the trolley.
And I have to say I never have felt so isolated in my whole life as I did in that moment. I think it was the shock that I couldn't actually pick anything up, it was almost like all the confidence I had in myself and my hearing, plummeted down to 0%. I was so embarrassed that I wanted to cry. Yes, I understand that sounds very dramatic, but I couldn't see a way of trying to laugh this one off.
I also have to confess that I haven't actually told anyone about this, so writing this is the first time I've shared this particular scary experience. Having gone through this experience it does make me appreciate how well I do cope on a day-to-day basis, and that I do sympathise massively with anyone that have this experience on a frequent basis. Normally I would pick something up and somehow would manage to make sense of it in my head or I'd get it by the 3rd time at a very push, but I never want to have that ever again. I quite literally wanted to be invisible at that moment. The only thing that made it worst was as I stepped away was hearing the checkout lady say "Oh don't worry, it wasn't you, she has them things in her ears.."
Wednesday, 12 June 2013
Imagine if this was to trend! by Imogene
HAHA!
I found this on Facebook, whilst strolling through my feeds. I personally found it hilarious and thought it'd be cool to share it with all of you on here.
Also whilst this is funny, that I couldn't help think that it would be rather cool to see this happen for real. I for one would certainly feel more comfortable to have my Hearing Aids on show! I'd feel normal... well, until it was out of fashion..
(Photo is simply intended for laughs!)
Tuesday, 14 May 2013
It's always the big things that makes the little things difficult. by Imogene.
Hi Everyone!
Sorry for the lack of posting - it's been a while, but I promise I personally have a couple of posts to provide you with this week.
So, I have been getting bugged to get a new phone for ages now, simply because mine is a newer version of a brick phone (it honestly might as well) but I always pride myself with saying "I don't need a new one.. It provides everything I need, to ring people and text" however, I realise I sound like a Granny rather than a 22 year old - I should have a hi-tech phone really.. and I probably do need to stay in touch with the online world more, rather than casually getting the laptop out, if and when I fancy it! So I went browsing for a new mobile. It's so much fun, looking at all the ones you can get - but at the same time not understanding a word of what it's going on about! So, being me, I pick the one I like the look of :-P
A Nokia Lumia! I have always liked the look of these on the adverts, I only want a small contract so I find one suitable - it won't cost no more than my usual pay as you go, so it's worth a try. I order my plan online and get excited to see it arrive.
The next morning I get a phonecall from the phone company and narrowly missed it! (I actually ran down the stairs!) So, I rang back to be answered by a deep voiced man with a heavy accent - I can't actually tell you what one because I found it so difficult to even hear him let alone pick that up too! So as a typical deaf person I say "erm.. sorry?" "pardon?... sorry can you say that again?" "I'm sorry but I can't understand you.." and various other statements which i'm sure we've all used or imagine you would!
Unfortunately my husband had gone to work and wouldn't be back for another 8 hours.. and somehow I doubt that I'd be on the line THAT long, regardless of whether I can understand the man or not. But I genuinely really struggled, especially when he said that he needed me to give an answer to the question! I wasn't aware that I was answering questions!? So I asked him to start again and spell out the answers that I had to pick from the list.. but I had no success because I couldn't even understand the question! He repeated it again and I heard the word catalogue and 2012.. but I simply couldn't answer it.
Therefore because I answered it "wrong" even though I couldn't actually understand it.. he cancelled my application. I was so gutted, especially after when I realised that I could've asked for another person to take the call. It was just so frustrating because I kept thinking "UGH!" simply because on the phone, I'm normally quite good and understand the person very well!
I do find it being an added stress being on the phone to unclear voices - Is it only deaf people that struggle with accents on phones?
So I reapplied for the phone in my husband's name, simply because I felt stupid if I was to reapply in my name again and get rejected again.. and that if they ring again he would have to answer it and answer the questions! Basically it was for my benefit that I didn't get embarrassed again by the same company.
Now I laugh about it because it seems funny that I was like WHAT? but I know it was horrible and I don't want to be in that position again.. I now have my phone and it's all sorted!
Has anyone else had any frustrating experience on the phone? Anyone else have troubles understanding what gets said on the phone? Any tips to share on managing phone calls? All comments welcome!
Sorry for the lack of posting - it's been a while, but I promise I personally have a couple of posts to provide you with this week.
So, I have been getting bugged to get a new phone for ages now, simply because mine is a newer version of a brick phone (it honestly might as well) but I always pride myself with saying "I don't need a new one.. It provides everything I need, to ring people and text" however, I realise I sound like a Granny rather than a 22 year old - I should have a hi-tech phone really.. and I probably do need to stay in touch with the online world more, rather than casually getting the laptop out, if and when I fancy it! So I went browsing for a new mobile. It's so much fun, looking at all the ones you can get - but at the same time not understanding a word of what it's going on about! So, being me, I pick the one I like the look of :-P
A Nokia Lumia! I have always liked the look of these on the adverts, I only want a small contract so I find one suitable - it won't cost no more than my usual pay as you go, so it's worth a try. I order my plan online and get excited to see it arrive.
The next morning I get a phonecall from the phone company and narrowly missed it! (I actually ran down the stairs!) So, I rang back to be answered by a deep voiced man with a heavy accent - I can't actually tell you what one because I found it so difficult to even hear him let alone pick that up too! So as a typical deaf person I say "erm.. sorry?" "pardon?... sorry can you say that again?" "I'm sorry but I can't understand you.." and various other statements which i'm sure we've all used or imagine you would!
Unfortunately my husband had gone to work and wouldn't be back for another 8 hours.. and somehow I doubt that I'd be on the line THAT long, regardless of whether I can understand the man or not. But I genuinely really struggled, especially when he said that he needed me to give an answer to the question! I wasn't aware that I was answering questions!? So I asked him to start again and spell out the answers that I had to pick from the list.. but I had no success because I couldn't even understand the question! He repeated it again and I heard the word catalogue and 2012.. but I simply couldn't answer it.
Therefore because I answered it "wrong" even though I couldn't actually understand it.. he cancelled my application. I was so gutted, especially after when I realised that I could've asked for another person to take the call. It was just so frustrating because I kept thinking "UGH!" simply because on the phone, I'm normally quite good and understand the person very well!
I do find it being an added stress being on the phone to unclear voices - Is it only deaf people that struggle with accents on phones?
So I reapplied for the phone in my husband's name, simply because I felt stupid if I was to reapply in my name again and get rejected again.. and that if they ring again he would have to answer it and answer the questions! Basically it was for my benefit that I didn't get embarrassed again by the same company.
Now I laugh about it because it seems funny that I was like WHAT? but I know it was horrible and I don't want to be in that position again.. I now have my phone and it's all sorted!
Has anyone else had any frustrating experience on the phone? Anyone else have troubles understanding what gets said on the phone? Any tips to share on managing phone calls? All comments welcome!
Monday, 1 April 2013
How I could imagine dealing with the news of having a disabled child - by Imogene
This is a topic myself and Eleanor was talking about the other day. We were chatting about one of the latest storylines in our favourite soap 'Hollyoaks'. The storyline is a couple of months old now, but it's about a young couple who have had a baby boy, and find out at the first hearing screen that he is profoundly Deaf. We both rather liked this storyline, what with being deaf, but also as it tackles and shows how people deal with their child having a disability. Like in most soaps they don't handle it very well. But after the screening, I enjoyed the episode where the mother went to visit, almost immediately after the birth to find a way to make her son 'hear'. It was very emotional as, she is desperate to help him and talks to the doctors about ways to make him a hearing child. There was a discussion on having a cochlear implant, but they found it wouldn't improve him anymore than he is. So they've gone against having the operation and now are living with a child who can't in affect hear anything.
It then lead to a discussion on how we would cope in the same situation and we both had different views with linking similarities.
I always think if I had a Deaf child that I'd be completely fine with it, as I'm deaf myself and have an understanding of what type of life you can lead with deafness; however that's only with hearing aids. But saying that, if my child had a profound level of hearing I would know that my child would almost be in safe hands as I know some teachers of the deaf around my area and I know they give 100% in the learning of each child. I would also know that there is support networks out there to help and there is BSL (British Sign Language) as a way of communication, so as a deaf person - It is possible to lead a normal life.
Obviously as a mother I'd worry about them growing up and hoping people become more deaf aware so that they can get the most out of their life. But as to quote Eleanor it is scary for new parents who don't know about being deaf and the support a child can get - it's terrifying. It's like if you imagine our child being blind - we'd worry!
Which is so true, it's only because we're in the boat, that we'd be easy to accept, but if it was any other disability we'd all worry and panic about the support and the type of life our child would be able to lead.
I personally did have the same worry with my son when he was born, not that he was Deaf, (I knew he was a hearing baby as soon as he came out) but the doctors did have a worry that he could possibly have cerebral palsy, and breathing problems as he didn't react to some of the tests they do to make sure they're healthy and everything is working as it should. At that moment when they said that I burst into tears, simply out of being scared. I didn't really know what it meant, nor what it was really - not enough to be clued up. But my gut instinct wasn't as if he did have any disabilities, some might say it could've been a natural denial state or mother intuition. It turns out he has neither of them things and is perfectly healthy!
But for that couple of days, I now understand when I read/see how people cope with a new baby being disabled. I suppose it's mostly because we all crave for a happy, healthy baby, simply as it's a easier life for them and probably deep down for us too.
So, How would I cope with the news of having a disabled child? I don't really know, I think I'd have to be in the position to be able to tell you. I know I would do my hardest to help to give them the best possible life, and make sure they were happy and felt loved. I know I would deal with them being Deaf very well, simply because I know how life is for that - so It's only because I have the experience. It's true, we're good with what we know.
I'd love to know your thoughts, or experiences with this article? How did you deal with the news that your child was deaf/had a disability? How would you cope with the news?
(This article is only of my own opinion and I hope non of the content offended anyone, as it certainly wasn't meant - Imogene.)
It then lead to a discussion on how we would cope in the same situation and we both had different views with linking similarities.
I always think if I had a Deaf child that I'd be completely fine with it, as I'm deaf myself and have an understanding of what type of life you can lead with deafness; however that's only with hearing aids. But saying that, if my child had a profound level of hearing I would know that my child would almost be in safe hands as I know some teachers of the deaf around my area and I know they give 100% in the learning of each child. I would also know that there is support networks out there to help and there is BSL (British Sign Language) as a way of communication, so as a deaf person - It is possible to lead a normal life.
Obviously as a mother I'd worry about them growing up and hoping people become more deaf aware so that they can get the most out of their life. But as to quote Eleanor it is scary for new parents who don't know about being deaf and the support a child can get - it's terrifying. It's like if you imagine our child being blind - we'd worry!
Which is so true, it's only because we're in the boat, that we'd be easy to accept, but if it was any other disability we'd all worry and panic about the support and the type of life our child would be able to lead.
I personally did have the same worry with my son when he was born, not that he was Deaf, (I knew he was a hearing baby as soon as he came out) but the doctors did have a worry that he could possibly have cerebral palsy, and breathing problems as he didn't react to some of the tests they do to make sure they're healthy and everything is working as it should. At that moment when they said that I burst into tears, simply out of being scared. I didn't really know what it meant, nor what it was really - not enough to be clued up. But my gut instinct wasn't as if he did have any disabilities, some might say it could've been a natural denial state or mother intuition. It turns out he has neither of them things and is perfectly healthy!
But for that couple of days, I now understand when I read/see how people cope with a new baby being disabled. I suppose it's mostly because we all crave for a happy, healthy baby, simply as it's a easier life for them and probably deep down for us too.
So, How would I cope with the news of having a disabled child? I don't really know, I think I'd have to be in the position to be able to tell you. I know I would do my hardest to help to give them the best possible life, and make sure they were happy and felt loved. I know I would deal with them being Deaf very well, simply because I know how life is for that - so It's only because I have the experience. It's true, we're good with what we know.
I'd love to know your thoughts, or experiences with this article? How did you deal with the news that your child was deaf/had a disability? How would you cope with the news?
(This article is only of my own opinion and I hope non of the content offended anyone, as it certainly wasn't meant - Imogene.)
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