"I wish I could wear... by Imogene

Hearing Aids”.

My instant response was “No, you really don’t!”

I mean let’s just take a look at it again “I wish I could wear Hearing Aids”. It seems such a silly comment for my 3 year old son to come out with. How did he even come to think of that? 

I know kids ‘say things’ mainly to get a reaction.. Well it certainly made me stop for a second.

There stood my rather mischievous boy, twirling the plastic on the battery pack (that he rather naughtily stole from my handbag), and looking at me like this was the most natural statement to make.

Of course it isn’t.

No one wants to be Deaf. No one asks to be Deaf, we just are and we somehow just deal with it. We don’t want to draw attention to it.

It’s our life and we put our Hearing Aids in because we need to. It's our habit. 

I sometimes very reluctantly want to put them in as I know as soon as I do; I have to get on with the day. Be an Adult and Mum. (Because sometimes it really makes it easier to pretend you’re still asleep when your little one shouts down your ear with none in!)

I had a memory of when Freddie wore some of my lipstick and he applied it pretty impressively; I remember thinking “Why would you think of doing that, you odd sod!” and once I uploaded the photo to Instagram many people gushed over how cute he looked. One of my friends went “aww, that’s so cute! He wants to be just like Mummy! He’s clearly picked up on your tips of applying!” and it instantly made me feel like I was so narrow minded. That I couldn’t see beyond the fact that, I am who he looks up to. He learns from me. He doesn’t see things as Male or Female; just quite simply, an activity that Mummy does. I want to try too!

It made me feel sad, it made me realise that I obviously hadn’t seen that in him. I didn’t notice that he watched me apply my lipstick and found it intriguing.I didn't notice them little eyes open wide with curiosity.

I noticed that he loves me putting moisturiser on his face – why didn’t the two click?

I felt bad for snapping (not out loud, but in my head) and being so negative towards his little declaration. I took a step back with that memory and tried it a different way.

“Why would you want to wear Hearing Aids, though Freddie?”

“Because then I can have my own batteries to put in them”

Welcome to this lad I call my son.

Playing Mum with No Working Hearing Aids.. by Imogene

Hi there again!

I am a Mum to two beautiful young boys (3 & 13 weeks) and they are the centre of my world. Everyday, I am doing things with them, listening to their cries, chants and giggles. They're honestly the most beautiful sounds I hear and I thoroughly appreciate being able to hear them. But what happens on the one day you can't?

Let me explain.
Wednesday last week, I woke as usual to the vibration of Freddie thumping around the bedroom and his (very) high pitched squeal as my hubby is tickling him. It's a normal morning. I sit up and put my hearing aids in and try and hush my lads as my littlest is fast asleep, and well, it's too early to hear such loud noises.
I get up, get dressed and go fetch some breakfast as Noah is still fast asleep. I do love the hectic mornings in this house. It's constantly filled with Freddie shouting he wants more milk with his cereal, or how hubby will be late home that afternoon, or that Noah will want a bottle at 20 past the hour. It's all so normal and it's the thing I wake up to and adore. I like the sound of babbling voices and things lumping around. It's my family.

I however dislike when my hearing aids run out. The tapping really irritates me, and always seem to start at the most inconvenient time! But like everything you tend to do as a parent you just put it to one side and get round to it when you can. My life is busy as a Mum, I'm constantly on the go of feeding and changing, as well as talking and playing. So on the day when one of your hearing aids decides it's finished it's battery life, you think "yeah, OK, I'll change you once I've finish *insert job here*" and this is exactly what I did.
Until my other one decided to start going off too.
Safe to say I rely on my hearing aids A LOT when I'm at home.

Freddie is very much one of them Toddlers that when they want something, they'll want to drag you or keep hanging around the item they want; for example Freddie keeps opening and shutting the pantry door when he wants something to eat. It's probably partly because he's around me most of the time, so knows that will get my attention. Of course he doesn't always do that, he does often shove his face in mine and go "Can I have a biscuit?" "Mummmmmmmmmmmy, I'm huuungry!" or "What time is it? Is it time for Dinner?!"

So on this day my hearing aids were tapping away, driving me up the wall. I had to stop doing everything and find some batteries.
I have many spots around the house and in bags where my battery packs seem to accumulate. In a basket above the microwave, in my handbag, in Noah's changing bag and beside my bedside. I went to all of my usual spots and there were either packets of all used batteries (why these were still here I've no idea!) or there was nothing to find.

Oh Sh*t!

I was a Mum in a house alone with two young, demanding kids and I was completely deaf.
You could imagine how quiet it felt. It felt really odd seeing and looking after my kids but with absolutely no hearing. I managed the best I could and things were OK, I just had to watch everything 10x more than I ever had before. Every move and action had to be accounted for.
A natural thing as a parent is to keep an eye out and look after your child, but there was something about them hours that made me feel like I was doing a terrible job. I know I wasn't really, but it did make me realise that sometimes I rely on my Aids more than I think.

I contacted my mum by text and she tried ringing me, but texting that I can't hear and well, it was a massive miscommunication but finally got to explain that I don't have any batteries!
 As a family we don't have any transport so I couldn't drive to the Hospital, I didn't have any cash on me to get the bus to the Hospital, or a shop to buy any, Chris was at work until 5, which means the shops would be close by the time he finished his shift (not to mention it was 10am in the morning).. It was basically the most annoying situation ever.

My Nan came to my rescue and brought some in Boots for me and brought them to me (Got to love Grandparents who'll do anything for you!). I was saved and all systems were go..
I will never let myself get in that situation ever again. It was hugely frustrating.
It showed me what I am capable of as a Mum, exactly how much I appreciate having Hearing Aids in my life and that I love the sounds my family make. If I didn't have them, I don't know what I'd do!

Oh dear.. the baby monitors gone!

Hey there everyone!
Long time no posting - I know! It's just I feel I can only really blog here when I have something major to talk about (yeah, not completely what blogging is all about) but there's nothing massively Deaf related going on in my life, which I'm pleased to say actually! But tonight I have come up with something that does have a slight line in that direction.. and probably many parents will be able to relate to this new change I'm experiencing!

Now Freddie is coming up to being 3, we've finally decided to let go of using the baby monitor as the little guy is more than capable of walking and opening doors (he has more than proven this when he was very ill! - which I'm pleased to say he has made a full recovery.. finally!). Non-the-less as a parent this is such a scary thing! It does bring a little worry as to whether I shall hear him if I'm downstairs etc, but I know in my heart he can call and come down un-aided and let me know of any problems.. 2nd night of this and it's successful.. (I still go to grab it once he's in bed to realise he's not using it no more!). It's just showing how independent he is growing and just how much I am able to trust him to come and find me. 
However, in the night my husband does most of the interacting, partly because my hearing aids are out and it's practically impossible to lipread half asleep (I've tried it so many times and have just given up, even my husband gets a 'what?' about 20 times before I get it... my brain, eyes and everything doesn't co-operate when tired!). Also doesn't help that I'm such a deep sleeper, although not so much at the current moment as pregnancy is taking it's toll on my diabetes! (but that's completely going off topic!)
So yeah, he's growing up so quick now.. And I have to admit when the husband said 'Do we really need the baby monitor plugged in anymore? We hardly need or use it really, do we?' I instantly was like 'BUT.. WHAT!?' but like he said we hardly need it and until #2 comes around we really don't need it - It's just like having your safety blanket taken away from you for the mean time! I'll only need it in the evenings and during naptimes with #2, so it's not a massive loss at the moment.. (But it's still scary right?!)

Would love to hear how any of you Deaf parents/friends of Deaf parents coped with or what stories you have heard on this subject! It's always nice to hear about other people's experiences.. means that we don't feel quite isolated in these subjects!

I hope you're all well! :) Ix

Getting Ready for Baby #2 by Imogene

I remember when I was first expecting my first son, I was so shocked but also so happy to learn that I was going to be starting a family. It's one of the things I have always wanted and expected that I would have eventually. I have grown up in a big family with 2 brothers and a sister, I also have another half sister. Having such great memories of my childhood and being blessed with amazing relationships with my parents - it's always brought such positive ideas about my own family that i'd have one day.

Naturally I'm quite a laid back person (obviously I have the worry/stress days as well as anyone!) and I found that through-out my first pregnancy I reflected this temperament. I didn't have many worries about whether he could potentially have a disability or anything could go wrong. I think most of that was because of my age, I was only 19 at the time. Also it's probably because I didn't know what to expect being a parent and that the pregnancy didn't become to feel real till I felt my son kick for the first time. It hit me really hard, I was going to actually be a mum. I did have the general little doubts of whether I would be a good mother, know what he needed when he cried, whether i'd cope with the late nights, that I may drop him.. It was really scary, but I was so excited to meet him, despite the doubts. My Husband at the time was in the RAF so I was still at home with my parents but we got married, moved into our own home and even though Chris (husband) was working away most of the time I stayed in our house alone, so most of the time it was just me and Freddie. Through them few months we bonded as he was the other person to talk to through that time - I also went home and saw my family etc but most of the time it was just us. I used to read to him, listen to music and of course nesting ready for his arrival! 

So when he arrived he was already my everything because he's been there a whole 9 months and we only got closer. Now he's nearly 3 and he's still a mummys' boy.

When Freddie got to be a Year Old, both me and my Husband decided we'd like to try for another baby, because we always talked about having a few children and we wanted Freddie to have someone to play and grow up with from an early age. 

Me and my siblings are 2 years apart and I remember the fun and games we used to have from a young age. Being to be able to have other siblings to play with was fantastic, I simply couldn't imagine being an only child.. couldn't imagine how different my life would've been.

It took over a year to finally get pregnant again (the more you seem to want something the more it sometimes seems to get out of reach!) but we did! Currently at 26 weeks and due at the end of April. I'm so excited to meet our other little man, it seems surreal that it's so close. 

It surprised me that during this pregnancy I have thought of all the bigger worries of having a child (the ones you would've suspected me to have first time around!), like him having a disability or a health problem, whether he's happy or not inside me. When I went to the anomaly scan at 20 weeks, I was incredibly nervous and felt sick - I never had this with Freddie but this time it hit me that during pregnancy you don't actually know what's going on inside of you; you know that they're developing into this beautiful human but everything else, you have no knowledge of. People always ask you 'How are you? Are you and bump OK? Is he well?' and when you've not had a scan since 12 weeks, the only thing you can think is 'well yes, i'm good, and I suppose they are too' which is a little scary as a mother to be. So many of my thoughts are a by product of maturing and from being a mother to a energetic lad. I always want the best for Freddie and for 'Archie' and knowing how well Freddie has developed I can only hope and wish that Archie shall be the same. It has also been a bit of a comfort to have regular scans due to being type 1 diabetic where they reassure me that all of his developing is fantastic and everything is really normal. I've been a lot less concerned since the 20 week scan as I know if there was a major issue they would've picked up on it (I have to hope!). It has also been really nice that one of my best friends is pregnant as well, she's a week behind at 25 weeks and it's been lovely to be able to text and meet; talking all things babies and pregnancy. A few times now we've had conversations of 'do you have it where you feel really sick if you bend down?' and it's like 'OMG YES!' - it's nice to know, it's all normal and happens to everyone else too!

This pregnancy has been different compared to my last. Archie has been a lot quieter in his movements compared to Freddie, I have to say that's the biggest difference, but then he probably has a lot to listen to what with Freddie and me talking constantly! I have also had more heartburn and earlier than I did during the last pregnancy. I've also been able to sleep better than last time - I rarely get woken up or feel unsettled - Freddie loved to kick me awake in the early hours!

Shows how different their personalities may be?
I have also been reading a book called 'The Secret Life of the Unborn Child' and it really opened my eyes to how much influence our mind has over the development and general psychology of our little people. It's an amazing book and anyone who is expecting should read it.

As I mentioned earlier that my Freddie is a big mummy's boy that I did wonder how he would behave and react towards having a brother and it's been very positive! I talk to him about when Archie is awake and what he's doing, I show him the scan pictures, I show him all his clothes and everything that we have got him so far. I make him feel included and he seems fairly happy with the idea of saying he's a big brother, kissing and hugging my bump (maybe doing that as it's seen what to do by daddy) and that Archie will be a baby - I guess the real impression will happen once he's born. But how he is generally I feel he'll be fine and that he'll love him (maybe not at being woken up in the middle of the night possibly) but I suppose he's too young to really grasp the whole picture and know what to expect, maybe he will when #3 comes!