Playing Mum with No Working Hearing Aids.. by Imogene

Hi there again!

I am a Mum to two beautiful young boys (3 & 13 weeks) and they are the centre of my world. Everyday, I am doing things with them, listening to their cries, chants and giggles. They're honestly the most beautiful sounds I hear and I thoroughly appreciate being able to hear them. But what happens on the one day you can't?

Let me explain.
Wednesday last week, I woke as usual to the vibration of Freddie thumping around the bedroom and his (very) high pitched squeal as my hubby is tickling him. It's a normal morning. I sit up and put my hearing aids in and try and hush my lads as my littlest is fast asleep, and well, it's too early to hear such loud noises.
I get up, get dressed and go fetch some breakfast as Noah is still fast asleep. I do love the hectic mornings in this house. It's constantly filled with Freddie shouting he wants more milk with his cereal, or how hubby will be late home that afternoon, or that Noah will want a bottle at 20 past the hour. It's all so normal and it's the thing I wake up to and adore. I like the sound of babbling voices and things lumping around. It's my family.

I however dislike when my hearing aids run out. The tapping really irritates me, and always seem to start at the most inconvenient time! But like everything you tend to do as a parent you just put it to one side and get round to it when you can. My life is busy as a Mum, I'm constantly on the go of feeding and changing, as well as talking and playing. So on the day when one of your hearing aids decides it's finished it's battery life, you think "yeah, OK, I'll change you once I've finish *insert job here*" and this is exactly what I did.
Until my other one decided to start going off too.
Safe to say I rely on my hearing aids A LOT when I'm at home.

Freddie is very much one of them Toddlers that when they want something, they'll want to drag you or keep hanging around the item they want; for example Freddie keeps opening and shutting the pantry door when he wants something to eat. It's probably partly because he's around me most of the time, so knows that will get my attention. Of course he doesn't always do that, he does often shove his face in mine and go "Can I have a biscuit?" "Mummmmmmmmmmmy, I'm huuungry!" or "What time is it? Is it time for Dinner?!"

So on this day my hearing aids were tapping away, driving me up the wall. I had to stop doing everything and find some batteries.
I have many spots around the house and in bags where my battery packs seem to accumulate. In a basket above the microwave, in my handbag, in Noah's changing bag and beside my bedside. I went to all of my usual spots and there were either packets of all used batteries (why these were still here I've no idea!) or there was nothing to find.

Oh Sh*t!

I was a Mum in a house alone with two young, demanding kids and I was completely deaf.
You could imagine how quiet it felt. It felt really odd seeing and looking after my kids but with absolutely no hearing. I managed the best I could and things were OK, I just had to watch everything 10x more than I ever had before. Every move and action had to be accounted for.
A natural thing as a parent is to keep an eye out and look after your child, but there was something about them hours that made me feel like I was doing a terrible job. I know I wasn't really, but it did make me realise that sometimes I rely on my Aids more than I think.

I contacted my mum by text and she tried ringing me, but texting that I can't hear and well, it was a massive miscommunication but finally got to explain that I don't have any batteries!
 As a family we don't have any transport so I couldn't drive to the Hospital, I didn't have any cash on me to get the bus to the Hospital, or a shop to buy any, Chris was at work until 5, which means the shops would be close by the time he finished his shift (not to mention it was 10am in the morning).. It was basically the most annoying situation ever.

My Nan came to my rescue and brought some in Boots for me and brought them to me (Got to love Grandparents who'll do anything for you!). I was saved and all systems were go..
I will never let myself get in that situation ever again. It was hugely frustrating.
It showed me what I am capable of as a Mum, exactly how much I appreciate having Hearing Aids in my life and that I love the sounds my family make. If I didn't have them, I don't know what I'd do!

Boo! by Imogene

Hello!!

Long time no speak... literally!

(sorry for the post title, but couldn't think of one that goes, but it's amusing all the same!)

I firstly want to apologise for the lack of posting for well, months now. I've been really really busy with well, everything; but mostly my little family, which I would like to say has had an addition to, in the last couple of weeks!

So, I've rather had my hands full with my new little guy :) Oh, and not to mention Freddie too!

Ok, so I've got a massive confession to make - I've been cheating on this Blog with another! I've got a personal 'family' blog that I have been heavily involved with in the last few months.. and its slowly become to show that I've neglected this one - I'm very sorry!

I mainly started my other blog because I felt I never had enough to say for this one that was Deaf related as my family are literally, as sad as it sounds, is all I do. I hardly ever have many Deaf stories to share.. Which I think is kinda a good thing.. Shows that my hearing doesn't take over the majority of what happens in my daily life. (That really isn't in any way meant to sound patronising and offensive to any other deaf persons)

However, on this rare occasion, I do have a little something deaf related that I can share with you.

For the last few months I've been off to the Hospital for check ups on my Diabetes (as well as bump). I've been lucky to be able to have quite a few scans too, so it's not all been bad but there was a particular day that wasn't joyful or a planned event.

When I was 36+6 weeks pregnant I woke up and found some bleeding. Naturally this really worried me and I was terribly panicked that it could mean that something was going wrong with #2 (Noah as he is now). I rang my mum and she told me it could be the 'show' as they call it, but to make sure I rang my midwife.

I'm so glad that my midwife that I've had all along answered the phone (I also had her for my monthly check ups with Freddie too!) and she tried calming me and asked me to explain and tell her what had happened and what I found.. I explained it all and she told me to ring the Hospital to get checked out - simply to make sure everything was alright!

The funny thing that she said (it's funny now, not really at the time) was "Imogene, make sure when you go to the Hospital and see them that you tell them that you're Deaf! Because you don't always hear things right and it isn't obvious that you are.. I don't want you saying 'Yes' to something you don't hear"

Thinking back on it, it's such a true statement. I never tell people I'm Deaf. I'm not really sure why.. probably because I'm usually not too bad without telling them, but also because (as stupid as it sounds) I sometimes forget I'm actually Deaf! It sounds so laughable and really, it is but I occasionally do forget.

My mum comes to the appointments with me and very often goes 'Oh, Imz is Deaf, so if she doesn't reply or looks confused it's probably because she didn't hear you' (because I never normally mention it!) and then the same old comments come out 'Oh are you? I never realised' 'Ooh, you don't sound like you're Deaf, your speech is very normal' and 'You don't look Deaf, you're very attentive and reply quick, do you lipread?'

These comments always make me laugh. Writing them down does seem like you should take offense to what they say because it sounds rude. But I'm so open about it, I don't mind people having a say on it - at least it's not said behind my back or in whispers!

Anyhow, everything was fine. There was no explanation for the bleeding, just that it happens sometimes, but there was no sign of any other further bleeding.

I didn't have a fantastic birth, but it happened and little man arrived here at last!

To read or follow my family life feel free to become a follower/share my Blog - do say Hello too! :)

www.littleandbigmoments.blogspot.co.uk

Oh dear.. the baby monitors gone!

Hey there everyone!
Long time no posting - I know! It's just I feel I can only really blog here when I have something major to talk about (yeah, not completely what blogging is all about) but there's nothing massively Deaf related going on in my life, which I'm pleased to say actually! But tonight I have come up with something that does have a slight line in that direction.. and probably many parents will be able to relate to this new change I'm experiencing!

Now Freddie is coming up to being 3, we've finally decided to let go of using the baby monitor as the little guy is more than capable of walking and opening doors (he has more than proven this when he was very ill! - which I'm pleased to say he has made a full recovery.. finally!). Non-the-less as a parent this is such a scary thing! It does bring a little worry as to whether I shall hear him if I'm downstairs etc, but I know in my heart he can call and come down un-aided and let me know of any problems.. 2nd night of this and it's successful.. (I still go to grab it once he's in bed to realise he's not using it no more!). It's just showing how independent he is growing and just how much I am able to trust him to come and find me. 
However, in the night my husband does most of the interacting, partly because my hearing aids are out and it's practically impossible to lipread half asleep (I've tried it so many times and have just given up, even my husband gets a 'what?' about 20 times before I get it... my brain, eyes and everything doesn't co-operate when tired!). Also doesn't help that I'm such a deep sleeper, although not so much at the current moment as pregnancy is taking it's toll on my diabetes! (but that's completely going off topic!)
So yeah, he's growing up so quick now.. And I have to admit when the husband said 'Do we really need the baby monitor plugged in anymore? We hardly need or use it really, do we?' I instantly was like 'BUT.. WHAT!?' but like he said we hardly need it and until #2 comes around we really don't need it - It's just like having your safety blanket taken away from you for the mean time! I'll only need it in the evenings and during naptimes with #2, so it's not a massive loss at the moment.. (But it's still scary right?!)

Would love to hear how any of you Deaf parents/friends of Deaf parents coped with or what stories you have heard on this subject! It's always nice to hear about other people's experiences.. means that we don't feel quite isolated in these subjects!

I hope you're all well! :) Ix

Getting Ready for Baby #2 by Imogene

I remember when I was first expecting my first son, I was so shocked but also so happy to learn that I was going to be starting a family. It's one of the things I have always wanted and expected that I would have eventually. I have grown up in a big family with 2 brothers and a sister, I also have another half sister. Having such great memories of my childhood and being blessed with amazing relationships with my parents - it's always brought such positive ideas about my own family that i'd have one day.

Naturally I'm quite a laid back person (obviously I have the worry/stress days as well as anyone!) and I found that through-out my first pregnancy I reflected this temperament. I didn't have many worries about whether he could potentially have a disability or anything could go wrong. I think most of that was because of my age, I was only 19 at the time. Also it's probably because I didn't know what to expect being a parent and that the pregnancy didn't become to feel real till I felt my son kick for the first time. It hit me really hard, I was going to actually be a mum. I did have the general little doubts of whether I would be a good mother, know what he needed when he cried, whether i'd cope with the late nights, that I may drop him.. It was really scary, but I was so excited to meet him, despite the doubts. My Husband at the time was in the RAF so I was still at home with my parents but we got married, moved into our own home and even though Chris (husband) was working away most of the time I stayed in our house alone, so most of the time it was just me and Freddie. Through them few months we bonded as he was the other person to talk to through that time - I also went home and saw my family etc but most of the time it was just us. I used to read to him, listen to music and of course nesting ready for his arrival! 

So when he arrived he was already my everything because he's been there a whole 9 months and we only got closer. Now he's nearly 3 and he's still a mummys' boy.

When Freddie got to be a Year Old, both me and my Husband decided we'd like to try for another baby, because we always talked about having a few children and we wanted Freddie to have someone to play and grow up with from an early age. 

Me and my siblings are 2 years apart and I remember the fun and games we used to have from a young age. Being to be able to have other siblings to play with was fantastic, I simply couldn't imagine being an only child.. couldn't imagine how different my life would've been.

It took over a year to finally get pregnant again (the more you seem to want something the more it sometimes seems to get out of reach!) but we did! Currently at 26 weeks and due at the end of April. I'm so excited to meet our other little man, it seems surreal that it's so close. 

It surprised me that during this pregnancy I have thought of all the bigger worries of having a child (the ones you would've suspected me to have first time around!), like him having a disability or a health problem, whether he's happy or not inside me. When I went to the anomaly scan at 20 weeks, I was incredibly nervous and felt sick - I never had this with Freddie but this time it hit me that during pregnancy you don't actually know what's going on inside of you; you know that they're developing into this beautiful human but everything else, you have no knowledge of. People always ask you 'How are you? Are you and bump OK? Is he well?' and when you've not had a scan since 12 weeks, the only thing you can think is 'well yes, i'm good, and I suppose they are too' which is a little scary as a mother to be. So many of my thoughts are a by product of maturing and from being a mother to a energetic lad. I always want the best for Freddie and for 'Archie' and knowing how well Freddie has developed I can only hope and wish that Archie shall be the same. It has also been a bit of a comfort to have regular scans due to being type 1 diabetic where they reassure me that all of his developing is fantastic and everything is really normal. I've been a lot less concerned since the 20 week scan as I know if there was a major issue they would've picked up on it (I have to hope!). It has also been really nice that one of my best friends is pregnant as well, she's a week behind at 25 weeks and it's been lovely to be able to text and meet; talking all things babies and pregnancy. A few times now we've had conversations of 'do you have it where you feel really sick if you bend down?' and it's like 'OMG YES!' - it's nice to know, it's all normal and happens to everyone else too!

This pregnancy has been different compared to my last. Archie has been a lot quieter in his movements compared to Freddie, I have to say that's the biggest difference, but then he probably has a lot to listen to what with Freddie and me talking constantly! I have also had more heartburn and earlier than I did during the last pregnancy. I've also been able to sleep better than last time - I rarely get woken up or feel unsettled - Freddie loved to kick me awake in the early hours!

Shows how different their personalities may be?
I have also been reading a book called 'The Secret Life of the Unborn Child' and it really opened my eyes to how much influence our mind has over the development and general psychology of our little people. It's an amazing book and anyone who is expecting should read it.

As I mentioned earlier that my Freddie is a big mummy's boy that I did wonder how he would behave and react towards having a brother and it's been very positive! I talk to him about when Archie is awake and what he's doing, I show him the scan pictures, I show him all his clothes and everything that we have got him so far. I make him feel included and he seems fairly happy with the idea of saying he's a big brother, kissing and hugging my bump (maybe doing that as it's seen what to do by daddy) and that Archie will be a baby - I guess the real impression will happen once he's born. But how he is generally I feel he'll be fine and that he'll love him (maybe not at being woken up in the middle of the night possibly) but I suppose he's too young to really grasp the whole picture and know what to expect, maybe he will when #3 comes!